In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation
In the beginning, without a doubt,
people
dream of having their own home
instead
of renting one for many reasons such
as psychological and economic factors. However
, it is not an easy thing to achieve for everyone. the statement was always an area of debate and now has become more controversial. My opinion will be discussed in further
paragraphs with a suitable conclusion.
First of all, having own home
has to be considered one of the most crucial parts of any individual's life goals. However
, analyzing and further
explaining, it depends on many aspects such
as people
's mindsets, for instance
, not all people
have the same way of thinking or personality to realize how important is significantly important at some point in life. In addition
, it depends on individual economic status, the nature of their work, and how much they make money
, because it requires a huge amount of money
that might be saved over a period of time which could be challenging for others.
Furthermore
, another striking point to mention is that having a private home
has a lot of advantages, to cite an example, it provides a positive feeling of independence, self-stabilizing, and convenience. Also
, it contributes to saving money
which allows people
to invest in other things as a result
, enhancing their financial level in the future.
In conclusion, I believe that the aforementioned points strongly support my point of view. Owing a home
rather than renting has many advantages such
as giving a positive feeling of independence and self-stabilizing. Also
, saving money
in the future. However
, it will depend upon people
's mindsets and which of view they are in favour of.Submitted by rm0.almohsen on
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task response
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, ensure that your thesis statement is more explicit. You mention that your opinion will be discussed, but you don’t clearly state what your opinion is. Make it clearer in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on the logical flow of your ideas. Some paragraphs could be better connected, and transitions between ideas need to be smoother. Consider using more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
task response
Your essay would benefit from more specific examples to back up your points. For instance, when you mention economic factors or the feeling of independence, providing concrete examples or statistics would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, but they could be further elaborated. Each paragraph should ideally explore one main idea in detail with supporting evidence.
task response
You’ve hit on both the psychological and economic reasons why owning a home might be important. This addresses the prompt well.
task response
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay, reinforcing the argument you made.
coherence cohesion
The language used is generally clear and appropriate for an academic essay, which helps to convey your ideas effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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