some people think that the main factors influencing a child's development these days are things such as TV friends and music others believe that the family Still Remains more important discuss both opinions and give your opinion

#people #factors #child #development #tv #friends #music

some people assume that the principle affects on kids progress nowadays are :TV friends and music ‚in other side ‚others see the family has its own place in children lives. children have good connection with technology

for instance

: TV which makes them live in other planets ‚and enjoying with images and colors that teach them many things ‚music

also

has a big impact on them especially the lyrics and Melody ‚ makigfriends and new relations allow them to learn about life experiences ‚and how to handle with others‚ kids are like biscuits you can form them in any shape you want‚ because they adapt faster than the adult

Besides

others think that family is the power of children life‚ without being social with your family you feel lonely

for example

: sometimes we have a lot of things in our hearts to express and the only people who can help you are the members of your family‚ sitting with them cultivate tranquility in your soul .

Moreover

‚ the advices you can get from a family you won't find them in other people. Despite the joy that we find in TV music and with friends‚ family will stay the main nerve for the continuity of life .In my opinion‚ kids stay healthy with family environment‚ because it makes them feel more comfortable and happy‚

in addition

this

‚their personality will be stronger and they will grow in clever way.

Submitted by aridj9108 on Sun Nov 27 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

237 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people think that the main factors influencing a child's development these days are things such as TV friends and music others believe that the family Still Remains more important discuss both opinions and give your opinion

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?

Do we have to plan for future or stay focused on our present what is your opinion and why ? provide example to support your stand.

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Some people think secondary school students should learn international news as one of their subjects, while others believe that this is a waste of valuable time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement that technology has a negative impact on traditional jobs?