IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In many countries, people are working increasingly longer hours. What are reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative effect?

#countries #people #hours #effect
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Overwork can make
people
Use synonyms
 stressed
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 of a
person
Use synonyms
. meanwhile, In numerous countries employees are overworking and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think it is a negative
effect
Use synonyms
.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will be discussing
this
Linking Words
 in the following paragraphs. To commence with, The main reason why
people
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 for
longer
Replace the word
long
show examples
hours
Use synonyms
due
Add a missing verb
is due
show examples
 to the
finance
Replace the word
financial
show examples
 problems in some
people
Use synonyms
's life having
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
show examples
 of responsibilities
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the family and some
work
Use synonyms
over time
Correct your spelling
overtime
show examples
 and hard to get promotions and reach
at
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
a certain position to achieve their life goals.
for instance
Linking Words
, one of my
Correct your spelling
colleague
college
colleagues
collegue
Correct your spelling
colleagues
 who was appointed with me as a teacher always wanted to achieve a higher position and for
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
 he was always working hard and one day he became a director of education.
as a result
Linking Words
, working for longer
hours
Use synonyms
 can
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
health
Use synonyms
. meantime overtime working can give a short time benefit to a
person
Use synonyms
 but they can't
work
Use synonyms
 for a longterm.
For example
Linking Words
, if a
person
Use synonyms
 is always working and not doing anything else it will make him
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
persons
Change noun form
person's
show examples
health
Use synonyms
.
Correct your spelling
moreover
moreove
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, if the
person
Use synonyms
 is always working it can
also
Linking Words
 decrease the
person
Use synonyms
's bond with the family. In
conclude
Replace the word
conclusion
show examples
,
though
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
in various countries
people
Use synonyms
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 for longer
hours
Use synonyms
 for numerous reasons.
however
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 negative impacts like
health
Use synonyms
 problems, can't
work
Use synonyms
 for longer
hours
Use synonyms
 and
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
 in family bond.
hence
Linking Words
in my opinion
Add the comma(s)
, in my opinion,
show examples
 it is a negative
effect
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by geekaayy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: