IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Men and women employed in full time Jobs should share the responsibilities of household chores. Do you agree or disagree. Share relevant personal experiences.

#men #women #time #jobs #responsibilities #household #chores #experiences
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It is an arguable issue that
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 who work
as
Change preposition
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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full-timer
Correct your spelling
full-time
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 should be in charge of household
chores
Use synonyms
 equally. I completely agree with
this
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 statement, since many parts of our lives have been so different from the past when only
women
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 were forced to cope with all the
house
Use synonyms
chores
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.
To begin
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 with, as far as
women
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 are concerned, they no longer merely belong to a
house
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.
First
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 and foremost, there are as many
women
Use synonyms
 who are socially successful as
men
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 in society. What
this
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 means is that
women
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 spend more time outside, working or running their own businesses.
Thus
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, in
this
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case
Add a comma
,case
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 where both
men
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 and
women
Use synonyms
 are busy at the same time, it seems plausible that they should share the
house
Use synonyms
chores
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.
For example
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, the reason why
women
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 used to take all the responsibilities of household
chores
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 in the past is that they were not only unallowed to play as important roles as
men
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 did, but
also
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 deprived of many chances to get ahead. Now that they have the equally same chances as
men
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,
men
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 should
also
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 join them for housework.
Furthermore
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,
men
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 are
also
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 as good at the
house
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 working as
women
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.
Firstly
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, there is a fixed stereotype that
men
Use synonyms
 cannot do
house
Use synonyms
chores
Use synonyms
 as well as
women
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.
However
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, as more
men
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 are economically independent
from
Change the preposition
of
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 their parents nowadays, they get chances to live alone and figure out how to deal with many different kinds of domestic work
such
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 as cooking and cleaning.
For example
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, I did not know how to cook whatsoever when I lived with my family.
Nevertheless
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, ever since I started living by myself, I went in search of proper ways to cook nutritious meals. To conclude, just because
women
Use synonyms
 did housework in the past does not necessarily mean that it should be the same. Considering the fact that it is a basic virtue to be able to do household
chores
Use synonyms
, it seems of great importance that both males and females should work together.
Submitted by johndaegeun on

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