Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

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At present, famous

people

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are renowned for their stylish look and cash

instead

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of their achievements, and

this

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has a wrong impression on youth

mind

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minds

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. I agree with

this

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statement to a maximum

extend

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extent

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and my essay will elaborate on

this

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in the following paragraphs. In the

first

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place, young

people

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are not mature enough to understand that

people

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who are at the top become famous because they had overcome many obstacles before. Actually, money comes when

people

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achieve their purposes and

this

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also

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makes them stylish.

Therefore

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, it is necessary to guide youth that it is more crucial to focus on their skills and sharpen them in order to succeed in life. To illustrate, most

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apply

show examples

Add an article

the researches

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researches

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research

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found that youngsters are 30% more likely to be influenced by

celebrities

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celebrities'

celebrity's

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wealth and fame, and

this

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has a negative impression on youth’s understanding of achieving success. What is more, it is undeniable that

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apply

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young

people

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usually want to be like

own

Correct pronoun usage

their own

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idol

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idols

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. For

this

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reason, celebrities

has

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have

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some responsibility for their actions, because

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apply

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young guys

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apply

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emulate famous

people

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For instance

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, we can easily notice that when

young

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a young

show examples

person like some famous idol, he or she usually starts repeating everything that

this

Linking Words

celebrity does,

even

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and even

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can change own style or personality.

Thus

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, celebrity has more effect on

young

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the young

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generation and it should not be only about glamour and wealth. To conclude, famous

people

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are known for their glamour

instead

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of their achievements and

this

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sets a negative example for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

youngsters.

However

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, there are celebrities who are popular due to their performances and achievements. In my opinion, when it comes to idealizing a role model

people

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should be more selective and see these personalities from their personal life as well.

Submitted by Allazhar on Mon Nov 28 2022

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

290 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people think importing foreign movies and TV programs is good for a country's culture. Others believe it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe arts such as painting and music cannot directly improve the quality of people's lives so that government money should be spent on other things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that we learn best through in-person interaction with a teacher in a classroom. Others believe that online learning is more effective. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

task 2: in some countries, young people have become richer, healthier and live longer, but they are less happy. What are the causes? What can be done to address the problem?

Nowadays, distance-learning programs are such common thing for us (the study material by post, by internet) but some people argue that courses can never be taken as good as those by attending in a college or university in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree?