IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

As global trade increases between different countries, many daily necessities are produced in other countries. Such goods are usually transported a long distance. Do the benefits of this trend outweigh its drawbacks?

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It is true that the number of products that are globally manufactured, transported and sold in various countries. Since there are both advantages and disadvantages to
this
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 phenomenon, I believe that
this
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 has more benefits than drawbacks, improving the public's life.
To begin
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 with, there are certain drawbacks to
this
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 issue. First and foremost, considering the fact that they must move a great distance if an accident happens, a large amount of loss could be caused.
For example
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, there was a large cargo ship that clogged the Suez Canal, which led all the other ships to wait in the middle of the ocean. Since each ship had its own stuff to transport through the canal,
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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wasting several days caused a great amount of frustration in transportation and economic loss.
Therefore
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, the supply of goods or necessary parts of goods could be affected by these kinds of unexpected situations.
On the other hand
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, the advantages accruing from
this
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 phenomenon should not be underrated.
Firstly
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, many international companies can make good use of another country's labour at a lower cost. not only does
this
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 create many job opportunities for people who provide their labour, but customers abroad
also
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 can buy products at lower prices, which is very much like the proverbial two birds with one stone.
For instance
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, one of the most globally famous companies, Apple, made a huge factory in China. If they had built it in the
states
Capitalize word
States
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 or another country, consumers would probably have to buy their electronic devices at a much higher cost. In conclusion, even though there might be a certain chance of getting involved in an unwanted accident, I believe that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks based on the way I view and value
this
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.

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task response
Ensure that all parts of the essay address the question prompt directly and comprehensively.
coherence and cohesion
Further develop the introduction and conclusion to provide a stronger framework for the essay.
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