IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think secondary school students and high school students should be allowed to choose academic courses leading to university or practical courses leading to careers such as carpenters. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #school #students #courses #university #careers #carpenters
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
How to set up the secondary school and high school curriculum has become a major concern for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
many. In general, I believe that
students
Use synonyms
 should be granted the autonomy to choose either academic
courses
Use synonyms
 to enter universities or practical
courses
Use synonyms
 leading to professions
such
Linking Words
 as carpentry. Every year, in many countries, millions of high school seniors apply to
university
Use synonyms
, simply because gaining a
degree
Use synonyms
 can significantly increase one’s career prospects in
such
Linking Words
 a competitive job market. Today, most jobs will not offer an internship or even an interview to candidates without a bachelor's
degree
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
, many careers,
such
Linking Words
 as those in medicine, architecture, and law, cannot be
practiced
Change the spelling
practised
show examples
 without a particular
degree
Use synonyms
, so
students
Use synonyms
 who have career aspirations in these fields have to choose to study at
higher
Add an article
the higher
a higher
show examples
 educational level.
Therefore
Linking Words
, preparing
courses
Use synonyms
 for
university
Use synonyms
 applications is essential. One important but often underestimated role of
Use synonyms
university
Add an article
the university
a university
show examples
 is that it offers a learning environment more for self-exploration and self-development than for other objectives, so
students
Use synonyms
 can achieve their potential or even
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
excel
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
university
Add an article
the university
show examples
 experience.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 there are a large number of potential
university
Use synonyms
 applicants, increasingly more
students
Use synonyms
 may not feel that a three-year or four-year
degree
Use synonyms
 is right for them. Even if they end up enrolling
into
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a
university
Use synonyms
, they may find themselves in a career
that is
Linking Words
 not personally fulfilling. What is worse, young people are not guaranteed a stable job after graduating from
university
Use synonyms
. They have witnessed examples of those who came before them still struggling to find work while those who have
finally
Linking Words
 landed jobs are underpaid or exploited.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 should be allowed to study
courses
Use synonyms
 for trade schools or technical colleges, where hands-on skills for specific careers will be taught and certain certificates can be earned in a one-year or two-year period. An important but often overlooked fact is that professionals like carpenters, mechanics, and electricians now have a better or at least not bad vocational outlook as they can respond to a more realistic and constant need. Overall, I believe that
students
Use synonyms
 should be ensured of the opportunity to choose between these two types of
courses
Use synonyms
, and they need to figure out what they aspire for
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
 future.
Submitted by hbljy123 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-direction
  • personal interest
  • educational engagement
  • learning outcomes
  • job market
  • skills-based economy
  • academic qualifications
  • personal aptitude
  • labour market needs
  • efficient workforce
  • foundational knowledge
  • specialize
  • well-rounded individuals
  • student-led course selection
  • socioeconomic disparities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: