IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people say that living in high-rise apartments feels very lonely, and makes people unhappy. Others say there are advantages to lining in an independent house. Discuss both views and ggive your opinions.

#people #apartments #house #ggive
Nowadays, there are many
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
 of house
people
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 in
people
 will have
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 much
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
stress. Some
people
 think
reside
Wrong verb form
residing
show examples
 in
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
Correct your spelling
building
buliding
Correct your spelling
buildings
 feels very lonely, and makes them
Correct your spelling
unhappy
unhappay
Correct your spelling
unhappy
 while,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
Correct your spelling
argue
agree
agrue
Correct your spelling
argue
 about there are positive effects to
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in
an
Change the word
their
show examples
 own house. In my point of view, I agree with the information and I will
Correct your spelling
discuss
dicuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
 about
these both view
Change the determiner
this both view
these both views
show examples
 following paragraph. On the one hand, there are many advantages
Correct your spelling
associated
assoicated
Correct your spelling
associated
 with
live
Replace the word
living
show examples
 in
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
Correct your spelling
building
buildings
buiding
Correct your spelling
building
. After
this
, the main thing that make
people
 feel unhappy
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 have
not
Add the particle
tonot
show examples
 time to do
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other activity because
people
 most spend time
to do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
 work or anything that
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 did not like and
then
 received much of stress from work or
Correct your spelling
study
studies
studey
Correct your spelling
study
as a result
,
that is
have
Change the verb form
to have
having
show examples
 much of
feel
Change the verb form
feeling
show examples
 sick
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 do not release the pain out.
Moreover
, the
further
 things to make
people
 feel lonely that living alone from my personal
people
 that not live with other
people
 will become quiet,
talk
Correct word choice
and talk
show examples
 less
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
than
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 likes social
Correct your spelling
communication
comunication
Correct your spelling
communication
such
 as, the
people
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
 in the room
Correct your spelling
square
sqare
Correct your spelling
square
 and be alone it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 some feeling uncomfortable.
On the other hand
, living in an independent house it
is has
Change the verb form
has
show examples
Correct your spelling
advantages
advanges
Correct your spelling
advantages
 because some
people
 stay with family
include
Wrong verb form
including
show examples
 many
people
 will occur
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 good feel and release the good substance out your body make you good feel
also
, spend time with family
enjoy
Correct word choice
and enjoy
show examples
 life, do
activity
Add an article
an activity
the activity
show examples
 together it
was be
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 better more than living alone. They
were have
Change the verb form
had
show examples
whose
Add an article
a whose
show examples
 talk with In conclusion, I agree with both
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
people
 will have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 mood inside that
whose
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 do not know
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
yourself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
 but we have to overlook
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the way to solve or manage for
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
your
Correct pronoun usage
our
show examples
 own.
Submitted by daroromylove on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: