Virtual reality has beenaajor breakthrough in technology. However like theadvent of smartphones many people have become so engrossed in it that theytend to ignorethe outside world.

#reality #beenaajor #breakthrough #technology #theadvent #smartphones #people #theytend #ignorethe #world

Some

people

believe that virtual

reality

has made individuals anti-

socialI

Correct your spelling

social

I completely agree with

this

opinion, since there is no face-to-face communication due to virtual

reality

, and excessive use of the

internet

can lead to the abandonment of the family. Many

people

find it easier to communicate through the

internet

. They prefer to discuss over WhatsApp, Viber or other apps available on the

internet

but talking to face-face communication helps build mutual trust when you communicate on the

internet

this

trust may not exist. It is the biggest reason why many

people

can not talk with another person in real life. When young

people

use of

Internet

too much, the abandonment of the family will occur as one of the negative effects of social media.

People

who spend most of their time surfing the

Internet

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

can become insensitive to real life and

people

around them, including members of their family. The most appropriate example for

this

is the young couple in Korea because they were so busy with their virtual baby and forget about their real baby.

Finally

this

poor baby died of hunger. In concluding of

this

paragraph, I want to say that

people

may become so engrossed in virtual

reality

that they tend to ignore the outside world. Including these main reasons, it can be concluded, that virtual

reality

has had many impacts on the world and the individuals that live in it.One of those

Change the capitalization

show examples

,pacs is a social aspect. Virtual

reality

has made

people

addicted to it

Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on Mon Nov 28 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Virtual reality has beenaajor breakthrough in technology. However like theadvent of smartphones many people have become so engrossed in it that theytend to ignorethe outside world.

Fully explain your ideas

Young people who commit serious crimes, such as a robbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many today feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Recent years, the number of crimes committed by young people in major cities throughout the world is increasing. Discuss this issue. Give reasons and suggest some solutions.

There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because the computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Now-a-days many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?