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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that children should not be given homework, while others believe that they must get homework everyday in order to be successful at school. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Certain individuals argue that teachers should not give kids homework at school,
whereas
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 I believe that it is a better way to get
accomplishment
Replace the word
accomplished
show examples
 if students are required to do assignments each day.
This
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 essay will discuss these two points of view. There are several reasons to support those people who are against giving children duty.
First,
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too much schoolwork at home could be harmful. More than half of students,
for example
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, claim that the primary source of stress is homework, which leads to some diseases,
such
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 as depression or insomnia.
In addition
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,
this
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 may exacerbate the digital divide or homework gap, resulting from different growing backgrounds. Completing them can be a challenging problem for some kids who
are
Verb problem
find it
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 hard to find a place with an internet connection owing to living in a rural area.
Therefore
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, these indicate that schoolwork indeed
brings
Verb problem
has
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 some negative effects on students.
On the other hand
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, I think that there are various benefits for children to doing assignments.
Initially
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, the front and centre cause is that it can cultivate them to be more self-disciplined to complete every task and allow parents to
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
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 with children's learning. Parental involvement in assignments,
for instance
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, would improve class performance and adjust learning strategies as needed, which reinforces classroom learning,
while
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 developing good study habits and life skills.
Hence
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, it appears that getting schoolwork triggers them to be successful in life. In conclusion, banning practice at home makes pupils less stressed, and reduces the learning gap;
however
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, having duty is more beneficial to both family and their offspring for self-discipline on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
 basis, involving school learning from parents, and increasing the development of life skills.

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task response
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, but the arguments lack development and clarity. Ensure that each point is fully explained, and provide specific examples where necessary. Be conscious of the logical flow of ideas throughout your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good grasp of coherence and cohesion. However, ensure that your ideas are arranged logically and coherently. Use transition words and phrases to connect your ideas and improve the overall clarity of your essay.
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