IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

This is a technology area. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#technology #area
Today we are living in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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small
villages
Correct the article-noun agreement
village
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, all world in close relationships with
technology
 websites . I strongly agree with that , the
technology
 world is our true being. in
this
 ,
essay
Add an article
an essay
the essay
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 I will explain and support my agreement .
Firstly
 , in the previous
decade
Add a comma
,decade
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 there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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not
Correct your spelling
no
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technology
Replace the word
technological
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 services te like nowadays, the
modernmodern
Correct your spelling
modern modern
 lifestyle and new devices had been discovered in that decade .
However
 , some people were excited to use those new devices and how
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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made them connect with each other even from far away countries.
For example
 , yahoo mail was one of the most emails were used that time and by
it
Add a comma
,it
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 people could contact each other by chatting , that a big important step toward enhancing more close connections.
Secondly
 , I agree that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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currently
this
 planet is one global area by simply social media applications.
Moreover
 , most
the
Correct article usage
apply
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individuals are using more than two types of social apps, which has led them to more connection with others for different reasons
such
 as work , family and study .
Hence
 , a telegram application a recent app that has been created to open channels for many purposes like invitations and plans ..etc. Overall , as more internet applications and new smart devices have released as more close connections and relationships from all different world sides would be able to be done easily . In conclusion ,
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
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 lifestyle has been established
established
Remove the redundancy
apply
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by the time of discovering a network website,
as
Correct word choice
and as
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 a ,result it has led to the
technology
 area . In
this
 essay , I supported my agreement with that fact.
Submitted by munaagha89 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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