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Writing Samples
Band 5

Scientists believe that eating fast food is harmful to one’s health. Some people think that education can help them change that bad habit. Others, however, argue that education does not work. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#scientists #food #one’s #health #people #education #change #habit #work
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According to some experts, eating fast
food
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 can be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
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 individuals who eat outside
food
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 excessively. Some
people
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 believe that
people
Use synonyms
 should be educated regarding changing
this
Linking Words
 bad habit,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
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 some think that education will not work to let
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
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 know about
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
 of fast
food
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.
This
Linking Words
 disquisition will discuss both these
vides
Correct your spelling
videos
show examples
 and I will give my opinion in conclusion. To commence with, in recent times,
youngster`s
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters'
show examples
 attitudes towards fast
food
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 has changed, they want to try
different
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a different
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 kind of
food
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everyday
Replace the word
every day
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 resulting
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in they
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they
Correct pronoun usage
them
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end
Wrong verb form
ending
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 up being sick because of
the
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apply
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fast
food
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.
In addition
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, young ones are not aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 the drawbacks of
the
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apply
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overeating
the
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apply
show examples
fast
food
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, and
also
Linking Words
 it will be bad for their immune system if they consume outside
food
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.
Additionally
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,
food
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 from the outside takes long to digest,
for example
Linking Words
, scientist
have
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has
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 proved that the bread of
the
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apply
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pizzas take more than 14 hours to digest and
the
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apply
show examples
pizzas are more popular fast
food
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 in any region, and
people
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 are not aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 it and education will help them to improve their eating habits. Some
people
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 believe that educating others about
flaws
Correct article usage
the flaws
show examples
 of the outside
food
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 will not help, they should try
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
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 to stop
people
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 from eating fast
food
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, advertisements can help to let ones know about
cons
Correct article usage
the cons
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 of eating
food
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 which
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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breads
Change the wording
bread
pieces of bread
loaves of bread
slices of bread
show examples
 and contains bad spices
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and is more disadvantageous for
people
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 who consume junk
food
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everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. To add to it, we just indirectly educating
people
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 about junk
food
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 consumption, so different types of methods will not work to stop
people
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 from eating it. In conclusion, in my opinion,
Change preposition
apply
show examples
over eating
Correct your spelling
overeating
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
junk
food
Use synonyms
 will be dangerous for the immune system, as depicted by scientists, so educating and
awaring
Correct your spelling
awarding
warning
people
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 about
disadvantages
Correct pronoun usage
its disadvantages
show examples
 of it, is
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 only option to stop
people
Use synonyms
 from eating it.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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