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Band 5

Scientists believe that eating fast food is harmful to one’s health. Some people think that education can help them change that bad habit. Others, however, argue that education does not work. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#scientists #food #one’s #health #people #education #change #habit #work
According to some experts, eating fast
food
 can be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 individuals who eat outside
food
 excessively. Some
people
 believe that
people
 should be educated regarding changing
this
 bad habit,
on the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 some think that education will not work to let
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 know about
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
 of fast
food
.
This
 disquisition will discuss both these
vides
Correct your spelling
videos
show examples
 and I will give my opinion in conclusion. To commence with, in recent times,
youngster`s
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters'
show examples
 attitudes towards fast
food
 has changed, they want to try
different
Change the article
a different
show examples
 kind of
food
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 resulting
Change preposition
in they
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
end
Wrong verb form
ending
show examples
 up being sick because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
.
In addition
, young ones are not aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 the drawbacks of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
overeating
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
, and
also
 it will be bad for their immune system if they consume outside
food
.
Additionally
,
food
 from the outside takes long to digest,
for example
, scientist
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 proved that the bread of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pizzas take more than 14 hours to digest and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pizzas are more popular fast
food
 in any region, and
people
 are not aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 it and education will help them to improve their eating habits. Some
people
 believe that educating others about
flaws
Correct article usage
the flaws
show examples
 of the outside
food
 will not help, they should try
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to stop
people
 from eating fast
food
.
Moreover
, advertisements can help to let ones know about
cons
Correct article usage
the cons
show examples
 of eating
food
 which
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
breads
Change the wording
bread
pieces of bread
loaves of bread
slices of bread
show examples
 and contains bad spices
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and is more disadvantageous for
people
 who consume junk
food
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. To add to it, we just indirectly educating
people
 about junk
food
 consumption, so different types of methods will not work to stop
people
 from eating it. In conclusion, in my opinion,
Change preposition
apply
show examples
over eating
Correct your spelling
overeating
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
junk
food
 will be dangerous for the immune system, as depicted by scientists, so educating and
awaring
Correct your spelling
awarding
warning
people
 about
disadvantages
Correct pronoun usage
its disadvantages
show examples
 of it, is
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 only option to stop
people
 from eating it.
Submitted by rahulgpatel19 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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