Some people believe citizens should be allowed to carry handguns in order to protect themselves, while others think this can lead to many social security problems in the society.What's your opinion? Use specific reasons to support your answer.

In many countries, laws are quite flexible to let ordinary individuals carry firearms
while
in many other
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
it is quite hard to get a license, even for a notable person, to own a
gun
.It is often said that when a state or
country
allows its citizens to carry weapons, the
crime
and
violence
rates increase there and I quite agree with
this
statement.
First,
guns
are meant to
shot
Wrong verb form
shoot
show examples
someone either to wound or kill him.
Thus
the very objective of a
gun
is to kill a person and
thus
this
deathly weapon can only increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime
and
violence
in a society.To understand how the mass ownership of
guns
can increase the
violence
in a
country
we can compare a
country
like the USA, where carrying a
gun
is allowed, with a
country
like Japan, where it is restricted.
Second,
research indicates that owning and carrying a
gun
can psychologically affect our behaviours and
thus
people often commit crimes only because they have
guns
with them, especially where people can carry
guns
with them, and the only way to reduce
such
crime
rate is to restrict the ownership of
guns
. In conclusion, the only reason the authority would permit someone to carry a
gun
is to ensure the safety of
this
person.
However
, the reality is quite contrary and allowing people to carry
guns
is actually letting criminals
also
won
Wrong verb form
win
show examples
it, it would significantly decrease
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime
and
violence
.
Submitted by ilkhomjon.uralov97 on

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task response
The essay provides a clear opinion on the topic and presents arguments to support it. However, some points could be further developed to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing different aspects of the topic, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow of ideas could be improved to enhance coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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