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Band 2.5

All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement.

#students #study #art #music #school
In
Correct your spelling
recent
show examples
resent
Correct your spelling
recent
show examples
 years More and more people believe that our
children
 only
study
 useful
subjects
 apart from
art
 and
music
. And
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
show examples
 these lessons are abominable for their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. But in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 all students should
Correct your spelling
possess
show examples
posses
Correct your spelling
possess
show examples
art
 and
Correct your spelling
apply
play
aply
Correct your spelling
apply
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
musical instruments in their
music
 lessons for not
being
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
 bored . I will put my thoughts into words in the forthcoming paragraphs. On the one
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 most individuals only read
subjects
 which are vital for entering university.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 more and more parents intend
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
their
Add a missing verb
have their
show examples
children
acquire
Fix the infinitive
to acquire
show examples
 an education
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 branch of
study
.
Firstly
 these
subjects
such
 as
art
 and
music
 interrupt
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
receiving education
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 major branch of
study
.
On the other hand
 to my
mind
Add a comma
,mind
show examples
 more
children
 attend school to
study
art
 and
music
subjects
 because of their interests. Even though more scientists only benefit
another
Replace the adjective
another subject
other subjects
show examples
subjects
. They participate in these lessons for relaxing their brain. I consider that they should accept these
subjects
such
 as
art
 and
music
. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 nowadays most people think that
children
 and all students should admit their focal branch of
study
 apart from
music
 and
art
. But in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 everyone should
study
music
 and
art
 in their secondary school for being in a positive situation.
Submitted by ilkhomjon.uralov97 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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