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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some People believe that the best way to reduce commuting time is to replace parks and gardens near the city center with commuter apartment building, but other disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic
issues
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been spread in
Correct your spelling
developed
devloped
Correct your spelling
developed
 or
Correct your spelling
developing
devloping
Correct your spelling
developing
 cities.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
's have not more time
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
travelling.
Correct your spelling
Therefore
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
 travelling time is to
refurbishment
Add an article
the refurbishment
show examples
 of
parks
Use synonyms
 and
gardens
Use synonyms
 near the
city
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 convent to the
Correct your spelling
residential
residencial
Correct your spelling
residential
 area. While other
people
Use synonyms
 are against
this
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
.
Correct your spelling
Therefore
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, I will discuss both points of view and give my opinion on
this
Linking Words
 matter. There are several advantages of convent
Parks
Use synonyms
 and
gardens
Use synonyms
 to the
Correct your spelling
residential
residencial
Correct your spelling
residential
 area.
The
Correct article usage
First
show examples
first
Linking Words
 and foremost, the traffic
issues
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been declined to construct building or apartment near
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
 of
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fule
Correct your spelling
fuel
show examples
 consumption might be less
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
because
people
Use synonyms
 have less commuting so, carbon dioxide emission has been reduced.
In
Change preposition
As
show examples
 the
results
Fix the agreement mistake
result
show examples
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air pollution
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
might be declined.
Besides
Linking Words
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should less invest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 public transportation
Correct your spelling
therefore
therfore
Correct your spelling
therefore
,they saved money.
For example
Linking Words
,
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
show examples
 government spend around 20 per cent of total expenditures. So, replace to
gardens
Use synonyms
 and
parks
Use synonyms
 to the
residencial
Correct your spelling
residential
 that money can invest
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 specific needs of
people
Use synonyms
 who suffered in other serious situations.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, these days Pollution has been increasing in the urban areas so, urban areas
Correct your spelling
required
Add a missing verb
are reduired
show examples
reduired
Correct your spelling
reduced
 to greens. Trees and Plants are very essential because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they absorb Carbon dioxide and give fresh oxygen.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, If
gardens
Use synonyms
 and
parks
Use synonyms
 are removed
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the
city
Use synonyms
 side that children have
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 spaces to play.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
People
Use synonyms
 have
balance
Correct article usage
a balance
show examples
 in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 life that
worklife
Correct your spelling
work life
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 health . When
gardens
Use synonyms
 and
parks
Use synonyms
refurbished
Add a missing verb
are refurbished
show examples
. they have not
doing
Change the verb form
done
show examples
 leisure
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
 like exercise, yoga and quality time of their own. In conclusion, the benefits of
replace
Change the verb form
replacing
show examples
 to
parks
Use synonyms
 and
gardens
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 high-rise
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
 near
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
city
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
. It would reduce traffic
issues
Use synonyms
. While, when removes
parks
Use synonyms
 and
gardens
Use synonyms
 that pollution has been rose.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
suffered
Wrong verb form
suffering
show examples
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
health
issues
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as blood pressure, cancer and breathing problems
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
 increased.
However
Linking Words
, my opinion is that
Correct article usage
the later
show examples
later
Correct your spelling
latter
show examples
 view because it is more beneficial for
people
Use synonyms
's life

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