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Band 5

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight.Some People say that the price increase of fattening food will solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #price #food
Nowadays,
People
 suffering
Obesity
Change preposition
from Obesity
show examples
 which is one of the Serious
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
 for individuals. while some
people
 argue that
government
 should increase
price
Add an article
the price
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
fast-
food
.
Other
Fix the agreement mistake
Others
show examples
 say that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
alternat
Correct your spelling
alternate
show examples
step
Fix the agreement mistake
steps
show examples
 forward and implement more actions. I agree
such
Change preposition
with such
show examples
 a viewpoint to
Correct your spelling
large
Correct article usage
a larg
show examples
larg
Correct your spelling
large
 extent. My preference is explained in the ensuing paragraphs.
To begin
 with, there are many reasons
people
 use to eat
fast-
Correct your spelling
fast food
show examples
food
 because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it is very delicious which is
also
 easy to prepare and it
also
chaper
Correct your spelling
chapter
cheaper
 rather than
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
 or nutrition
food
.
As a result
,
people
 have been suffering
Change preposition
from disease
show examples
disease
Change the noun form
diseases
show examples
such
 as obesity, diabetes and heart issues.
However
, the solution is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
government
 should take action on
this
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
. The
price
 increase of junk
food
. So, everyone can not afford
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
high
price
food
.
therefore
,
people
 are
move
Wrong verb form
moving
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthy
food
.
Moreover
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should
also
 make laws.
For instance
, the British
government
 recommend eating five portions of fruits and vegetables per day.
Furthermore
,
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 curriculum should
banned
Change the verb form
ban
show examples
 unhealthy junk
food
 on
manus
Correct your spelling
menus
show examples
 because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 these days child has been
also
suffer
Change the verb form
suffering
suffered
show examples
Correct your spelling
overweight
show examples
over weight
Correct your spelling
overweight
show examples
.
In addition
, we need to re-educate society and show them how exercise and healthy
food
 can reduce
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
them
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 weight.
On the contrary
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should rising taxes on
fast-
Correct your spelling
fast food
show examples
food
instead
 of
people
 who
business
Add a missing verb
are business
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
fast-
Add an article
a fast-food
the fast-food
show examples
food
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 which might be
Add an article
a loss
show examples
loss
Replace the word
lost
show examples
.
For example
,
fast-
Add an article
a fast-food
show examples
food
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 like KFC and McDonald's might be
loss
Replace the word
lost
show examples
 when
price
Add an article
the price
show examples
 would increase because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
everyone
evryone
Correct your spelling
everyone
 can not afford high prices.
Although
, it should not provide policy in urban areas because
Change preposition
of, people
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 who live in
city
Add an article
the city
a city
show examples
. They are very rich so
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
price
 of
fast-
Correct your spelling
fast food
show examples
food
 doesn't affect them. In conclusion, as far as I can see, I don't think so, more than 30%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 continue to eat unhealthy meals because of the inflation and
government
 should rise taxes so, it is very expensive
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
Correct your spelling
common
commen
Correct your spelling
common
 men.
Submitted by jeetkacha13 on

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