Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. What are your opinions on this?

#children #games #reason #violence #crime #cities #world

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New online streaming platforms provide

children

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with a wide range of computer

games

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which contain variations of

crime

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and

violence

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. Some people believe that

violence

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in the major cities increased due to the effect of computer

games

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. I believe that online

games

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have affected

children

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's behaviours, changing

crime

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rates.

Children

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tend to imitate what they see in

games

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without questioning them.

Games

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with

violence

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give

children

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an opportunity to discover the

crime

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Moreover

Linking Words

children

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cannot distinguish the

crime

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results when they believe it is just a game.

For example

Linking Words

, a

child

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can get physical with their friends due to unsettlement without knowing the consequences of

violence

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. We must teach

children

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how to distinguish real life from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

virtual one.

In addition

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to the discussed point of view, another problem can surface when a

child

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plays

crime

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games

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for many hours. The problem is that

crime

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games

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are designed with so many details due to a sense of reality. Because of these details, a

child

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may learn how to commit a

crime

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Therefore

Linking Words

, they get curious about how committing a

crime

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feels.

For instance

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, if

games

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influence a

child

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, they can plan creative crimes with the knowledge gained through

games

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This

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knowledge causes the increase of

violence

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in the cities because the police might face a unique

crime

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and may not be able to find who committed the

crime

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. In conclusion, violent computer

games

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have a bad influence on

children

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This

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influence can cause the rise of

crime

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in society. Parents must be aware of the context of their

children

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games

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and examine these

games

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before letting them play.

Submitted by yigitakyolmd on Mon Nov 28 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. What are your opinions on this?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Modern technology in now very common in most workplaces. How do you thik this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying to much on technology?