IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some feel that cities shold be designed to be beautiful while others feel their functionality is more important. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

With the increase in the
populace
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population
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,
urbanization
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urbanisation
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 is developing day by day. Some folk
claim
Use synonyms
 that urban areas should look
beautiful
Punctuation problem
beautiful,
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while
Linking Words
 others
claim
Use synonyms
 that it is better to
be
Verb problem
have
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 more facilities for
people
Use synonyms
 in these areas rather than focus on looks. Personally, I believe that
Use synonyms
cities'
Check wording
a city's
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 functionality is more important than only focusing on looks. I will discuss both views and will share my opinion in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
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 paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, the
claim
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 of attractive designs is that they will attract tourists. More
people
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 will come to visit these
cities
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 owing to
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 attractive looks of these
cities
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. To illustrate, Dubai is eminent for its attractive looks because of Burj Khalifa and
due to
Linking Words
 its attractive
,
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apply
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look
many
Punctuation problem
, many
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 tourists from different countries come to visit
this
Linking Words
 place.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the attractiveness of the
cities
Use synonyms
 enhances the economy of the country. The more the place is beautiful and attractive, the more
people
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 come to visit. In
this
Linking Words
 way, the finance of the country boosts.
People
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 who
claim
Use synonyms
 to focus on
cities
Use synonyms
' functionality are more important as it will be an extra cost and funds on the government if the
money
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 is spent on modifying and attractive looks of
cities
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.
Correct word choice
attractive.
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 To make these urban areas beautiful, the government needs to spend
money
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is a waste of
Use synonyms
money
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money,
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 as it should be spent on facilities.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is
people
Use synonyms
's
money
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so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 it should be spent on
people
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 to make their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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easier
Punctuation problem
easier,
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 as
people
Use synonyms
 pay large amounts of
money
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 in taxes.
For example
Linking Words
, health and education should be free or less costly for
people
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 who can't afford to
owe
Verb problem
pay due
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 to their low income.
To conclude
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, no doubt an attractive look is necessary
,
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;
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however
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, more
focussed
Use the right word
focus
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 should be on its functions rather than its looks. In my opinion, looks matter
but
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, but
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 functions are more important than only attractiveness
as
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, as
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 these make
people
Use synonyms
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 easier and smoother.

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planning
Plan your essay with a short plan first: intro, two body ideas, and a conclusion.
structure
Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that links to your plan.
development
Give a reason and a simple example for each main point.
linking
Use more linking words to show flow, like and, but, so, also.
language
Keep sentences short and check grammar; fix long sentences.
conclusion
End with a brief conclusion that restates your view.
content
You discuss both sides of the issue.
example
You give a real world example.
tone
Your opinion is clear.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Aesthetic appeal
  • Cultural heritage
  • Infrastructure
  • Urban planning
  • Sustainable development
  • Psychological well-being
  • Economic growth
  • Tourism industry
  • Architectural marvels
  • Public spaces
  • Accessibility
  • Environmental impact
  • Residential areas
  • Commercial hubs
  • Green spaces
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