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Band 6

Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #socialise #face #development
In modern times many individuals are comfortable with online
instead
 of physically
meet
Change the form of the verb
meeting
show examples
. Both of them have some advantages and disadvantages but in my perspective communicating online has
enormous
Add an article
an enormous
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benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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 because of its comfortableness as well as
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
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saves
Wrong verb form
saving
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time
.
First
 of all, peoples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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nowadays gives much
priority
Correct quantifier usage
more priority
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 to their comfort zone rather than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 old
time
. They can do a lot of things easily by sitting at home.
For example
, before
this
 online decade
people
 have to go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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restaurant to buy food,
on the contrary
, now they can have food at home just by
click
Add an article
the click
a click
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 of a button
in
Change preposition
on
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 their smartphones. These extreme facilities are now
peoples
Change noun form
people's
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 comfort zone and
personally
Add a comma
,personally
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 I prefer to stay home rather than
going
Wrong verb form
go
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 out. So now for that
people
 can spend more
time
 with their family.
Secondly
, there is a great way of
communication
Replace the word
communicating
show examples
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online, so for
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
people
 can get connected with whomever they want
that is
 an incredible development of communication it helps to save
time
.
People
 now can do everything over
phone
Add an article
the phone
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instead
 of going there physically.
For example
, one should have to attend a social meeting, by using
online
Add an article
the online
an online
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 different app they can directly attend that meeting rather than attending own self. They save the
time
 of going there as traffic increased a lot. By using technological things
everything’s gets
Change the verb form
everything gets
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 easier and
people
 save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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valuable
time
. To conclude, I prefer communicating with
people
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online is much easier than
physical
Correct article usage
a physical
show examples
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
 as it saves a lot of
time
 and
people
also
 do many things by staying in their comfort zone.
Submitted by koly2751 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • social media platforms
  • online interactions
  • virtual communication
  • global community
  • interpersonal skills
  • digital divide
  • cyberspace
  • virtual presence
  • social networking
  • mental wellbeing
  • digital literacy
  • safe spaces
  • marginalized groups
  • face-to-face communication
  • socialisation
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