In many parts of the world, women study science and technology, but donot work in these fields. What measures can be taken to encourage women to work in science and technology?

The contemporary issue faced by
females
who major in STEM fields but are not able to practice in it has raised significant concerns. Companies and the government hold the key to addressing
this
, by reserving some job spots specifically for women and introducing bonuses for girls working in science-related roles respectively. Exploring these potential solutions will provide more insights into resolving
this
problem
. To tackle
this
problem
effectively, the firm should keep some work quarters for women which ensures that more ladies are offered employment in the targeted field.
For example
, In my workplace, it is a standing rule that the head of the production department must be a female. Clearly,
this
ensures that a certain percentage of
females
are found in science-related roles.
Therefore
,
this
is why reserving job spots for them will be a good solution to
this
challenge.
In addition
, the government must take a proactive measure to solve
this
issue by augmenting the salaries for
females
in STEM-related fields which could make it more attractive.
For instance
, I was attracted to work as a Business Analyst because I get extra payments from the government monthly. Obviously, providing female
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
stem work bonuses, will attract and keep them in the field.
Thus
, why
this
would be an effective solution to
this
problem
if implemented. In conclusion, the trend that most
females
who study STEM-related courses do not end up practising has sparked some substantial concerns. Fortunately, most companies keep certain job positions permanently for women and the authorities provide bonuses to cushion their salary, supporting
this
initiative can help resolve
this
problem
. Exploring
this
possible solution has given
an
Correct pronoun usage
me an
show examples
in-depth understanding of
this
subject matter.
Submitted by Eby on

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Task Achievement
Ensure your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. Your introduction should clearly state what measures will be discussed, and each paragraph should focus on explaining these measures in detail.
Task Achievement
Work on developing your ideas more thoroughly. Each paragraph should explore the suggested measures more deeply, examining potential challenges, the impact, and further details to give a comprehensive understanding of how these measures can encourage women in STEM.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay in a more logically structured way by clearly separating your ideas into paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be linked to the overall topic of encouraging women in STEM fields.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make use of varied linking words to show the relationship between your ideas more clearly. This will help your essay to flow better, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Mentorship programs
  • Career advice
  • Early-career professionals
  • Scholarships
  • Funding opportunities
  • Financial barriers
  • Flexible working environments
  • Remote work options
  • Work-life balance
  • Visibility campaigns
  • Role models
  • Potential career paths
  • Stereotypes
  • Biases
  • Educational and professional settings
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