IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
Nowadays, there
are
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is
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 an argument between the administrators of countries and individuals about
vitality
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the vitality
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 of economic plans.
Thus
, based on some
human's
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human
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opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
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, alternative issues must be valued
as
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at
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 the same level as
economic
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economics
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. In
this
essay
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,essay
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 both views and their rational consequences, including my idea, will be mentioned. On the one hand,
technology
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technological
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 developments and
secured
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secure
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 life are the results of paying attention to
economical
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economic
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 items.
In other words
, if the primers invest in
technology
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the technology
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of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society will become much
modern
Correct quantifier usage
more modern
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 .
For instance
, people are able to use electronic and upgraded facilities in order to do daily activities simply.
On the other hand
, the more a country is economically balanced , the more people feel safe and secure. To give an illustration, if parents who are responsible for their youngsters feel certain financially, they would raise
next
Correct article usage
the next
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 generation in a healthy and good
condition
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conditioned
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 atmosphere.
However
, according to some people's opinion, which I strongly agree with, education and culture are
to
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two
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 remarkable factors.
Firstly
, the cultural events must take place till
all
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apply
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the country
consider
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considers
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about
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apply
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the history and backgrounds . Take historical ceremonies
such
 as " Nowrooz " and "Yalda" as examples; which are symbols of peace and love and friendship.
Secondly
, the young ones
educating
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education
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 methods need to be much more valued. Simply put, the awareness of the
next
 generation depends on
quality
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the quality
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 of learning systems. So, investing in building particular schools and
employment
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employing
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 experts for teaching have to stand
on
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at
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 the top of
the states plans
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the state's plans
the plans of the state
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. To conclude, in upgraded nations, the individuals and authorities have
divers
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diverse
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 point of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
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 about what is the most vital factor to be developed. It is my firm conviction that cultural and historical matters are fundamental issues exactly like financial resources.
Submitted by minoo.abdousi7 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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