These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #health #doctors #medicine #lifestyle

Nowadays people trust their health to doctors and drugs more often than dive into a healthy way of life. My own opinion is very much at odds with

this

view, and, in

this

,essay I will set out to explain why. First of all, a healthy lifestyle is believed to be effortless and cheaper for an average person. Some countries,

for instance

, lack free medical care.

Therefore

, citizens are forced to pay an enormous number of finances if

there

Change the word

show examples

is important to visit a specialist.

Second,

there is a range of different online platforms which are useful to stay in shape and feel better.

For example

, apps or websites may count the calories of food or offer a person individual exercises after filling out special entry forms.

Moreover

, using

such

applications is comfortable for an individual

due to

the opportunity of having advice at any time

while

there is a necessity to wait for a hospital visit.

On the other hand

, there is always a chance that the given advice is wrong. Unfortunately, those who responsible for a platform’s creation are usually lack medical education and their recommendations may not have any proof from medical society.

For example

, most people do not know about suffering from disease

while

Internet doctors persistently try to treat them wrong.

As a result

, those who

followed

Wrong verb form

show examples

such

suggestions are likely to deal with future complications.

To conclude

although

some people believe there is no necessity to think about the way of living, I suggest that most part of humanity

tries

Correct subject-verb agreement

try

show examples

to support their life with sports activities to prevent possible illness in the future.

Submitted by nejo.quol on Tue Nov 29 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response

Make sure to address all parts of the essay prompt and provide a clear opinion on the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

The ideas are presented in a logical order, but the introduction and conclusion could be more developed and cohesive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
In some areas of the UD, a 'curfew' is imposed, In which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?
Criminality does not wait for new victims, one of the easiest aims are teenagers avid of knowing new experiences and rebels with paternal authority. As a consequence, most of crimes are committed by them impairing a brilliant generation. To face it, in some areas of the UD, curfews are implemented. This alternative results thought-provoking by sectors of community. In this essay, it will be elucidate some positions and a personal opinion will be provided.
4.5
band
Fast food is a part of life in many places and as a result, this leads to bad effects in lifestyle and diet. To what extent do you agree?
The popularity of fast food growing in size provoke negative effects to modern societies, I only partially agree with such opinions for some advantages prompted from such trend.
5
band
Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some individuals would like to work for similar companies throughout their working life, while others and I believe that switching career spaces is better for them, which can be achieved through working in different companies.
4
band
In many developed countries, life expectancy is rising while birthrates are falling. As a result, the elderly will make up a much larger proportion of the population in future. Is this a positive or negative development?
In recent days, older people survive longer than the past, although there is a fall in the percentage of birth, and the rates of the aged people in the proportion of population will increase in the future. Though this progress is good for individuals, I think that this development would make impacts on economy and society.
5.5
band
Some people think importing foreign movies and TV programs is good for a country's culture. Others believe it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
From its birth, movies and shows have permeated practically every section of society. It is generally believed that foreign movies and TV shows should be acquired due to their cultural benefits. However, some vehemently advocate locally produced ones. In this essay, both sides and my stance will be cast light on.

These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some areas of the UD, a 'curfew' is imposed, In which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

Fast food is a part of life in many places and as a result, this leads to bad effects in lifestyle and diet. To what extent do you agree?

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many developed countries, life expectancy is rising while birthrates are falling. As a result, the elderly will make up a much larger proportion of the population in future. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people think importing foreign movies and TV programs is good for a country's culture. Others believe it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.