These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays people trust their health to doctors and drugs more often than dive into a healthy way of life. My own opinion is very much at odds with
this
view, and, in
this
,essay I will set out to explain why. First of all, a healthy lifestyle is believed to be effortless and cheaper for an average person. Some countries,
for instance
, lack free medical care.
Therefore
, citizens are forced to pay an enormous number of finances if
there
Change the word
it
show examples
is important to visit a specialist.
Second,
there is a range of different online platforms which are useful to stay in shape and feel better.
For example
, apps or websites may count the calories of food or offer a person individual exercises after filling out special entry forms.
Moreover
, using
such
applications is comfortable for an individual
due to
the opportunity of having advice at any time
while
there is a necessity to wait for a hospital visit.
On the other hand
, there is always a chance that the given advice is wrong. Unfortunately, those who responsible for a platform’s creation are usually lack medical education and their recommendations may not have any proof from medical society.
For example
, most people do not know about suffering from disease
while
Internet doctors persistently try to treat them wrong.
As a result
, those who
followed
Wrong verb form
follow
show examples
such
suggestions are likely to deal with future complications.
To conclude
,
although
some people believe there is no necessity to think about the way of living, I suggest that most part of humanity
tries
Correct subject-verb agreement
try
show examples
to support their life with sports activities to prevent possible illness in the future.
Submitted by nejo.quol on

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Task Response
Make sure to address all parts of the essay prompt and provide a clear opinion on the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas are presented in a logical order, but the introduction and conclusion could be more developed and cohesive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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