IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject they are good at or find the most interesting. Discuss both sides and give more options.

#people #teenagers #school #subjects #focus #options
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is an ongoing debate in
society
Add an article
a society
show examples
 that the students' lecture programme. Some of them believe that it is better to concentrate on all subjects whereas others believe that it is more beneficial to concentrate on what they are good at or find the most interesting. For teenagers, it is hard to say what is better but I believe that it should be depended on the individual students for selected talented ones but others should take all lessons in their programme with different hours per week. Considering teenagers, people cannot know what their desire as so themselves.
Moreover
Linking Words
, taking lessons about all kinds of subjects might be helpful if they change their mind in the future. Even if the system of pointing gives extra points based on their chosen subject, they need
also
Linking Words
 others to get a better score on exams
such
Linking Words
 as university exams. Another option might be a solution about the aspect that they can take all subjects but more
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
hours can be on what they find interesting outweighs the other.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, being more concentrated on the specific lectures provides better and easier improvements for pupils. They will not struggle with the lesson which are unloved or untalented ones for them. If they use that programme in their education life, they
also
Linking Words
 love to go to school.
In addition
Linking Words
, the lecturer gets a chance to select talented ones from the crowd thanks to the
one subject
Add a hyphen
one-subject
show examples
 concentrated system and give more attention rather than all subject as an option. To put it simply, both beliefs have advantages and disadvantages
such
Linking Words
 as selecting and improving. The teachers in the schools should decide for their students because they are professionals in the education sector.
Submitted by ecemanginn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: