THE WORLD TODAY IS A SAFER PLACE THAN IT WAS A HUNDRED YEARS AGO, AND GOVERNMENT SHOULD STOP SPENDING LARGE AMOUNTS OF MONEY ON THEIR ARMED FORCES.

#world #place #years #government #amounts #money #forces

Owing to fascinating development in the field of

arm

Fix the agreement mistake

arms

show examples

and other

weapons

, the 21st century

safer

Add a missing verb

is safer

show examples

compared to past

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

show examples

Correct your spelling

Maybe

show examples

May be

Correct your spelling

Maybe

show examples

ten decades ago, in the war, tonnes of people died because of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nuclear

weapons

However

, somewhere it is important for

civilian

Fix the agreement mistake

civilians

show examples

and

nation

Fix the agreement mistake

nations

show examples

that

government

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

to develop as well as should be updated in terms of

army

Add an article

the army

show examples

and all kinds of

weapons

, which support them to protect the civilians. On the other

side

Add a comma

,side

show examples

some individuals believe that

government

should stop

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

funding to improve their armed

forces

. So, I strongly agree with the

first

statement that

government

have to develop armed

forces

as much as possible from the

past

Correct your spelling

last

show examples

time

. The

first

and foremost crucial reason, which

support

Correct subject-verb agreement

supports

show examples

my agreement is the past wars. In the past

time

, every

nation

fought for lands, water,

money

Correct word choice

and money

show examples

Second

, before 1940 not even a single

nation

had that level of technological knowledge that how to protect civilisation

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

form

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

wars. To explain it, in Hiroshima and

Nagashaki

Correct your spelling

Nagasaki

, the American air

forces

dropped nuclear

weapons

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

two

terroteries

Correct your spelling

territories

and

till

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

today’s

time

the effect

Change preposition

of that

show examples

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

nuclear virus

is still impact

Change the verb form

still impacts

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

new babies,

which one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

born there.

Therefore

, armed

forces

are the key to

secure

Correct article usage

a secure

show examples

and safe civilisation.

Moreover

, if the

nation

has

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

strong power in terms of

weapons

and

forces

, it will beneficial for inhabitants as well as it is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

strong sign for that

nation

Replace the word

national

show examples

government

to prove

their

Change preposition

to their

show examples

civilians that they all are safe. Recently,

Indian

Correct article usage

the Indian

show examples

government

update their armed

forces

Change preposition

with

show examples

different types of

weapons

Correct word choice

and heavy

show examples

heavy

Replace the word

heavily

show examples

armed vehicles and bought approximately 47 air crafts, which help them in types of war.

Also

weapons

and other armed materials improve the contact between two

nation

Fix the agreement mistake

nations

show examples

as well as it will help them in future conflicts.

For instance

, in 1971,

Russian

Correct article usage

the Russian

show examples

army and

number

Correct article usage

a number

show examples

of Russian troops helped

Indian

Correct article usage

the Indian

show examples

government

from

Change preposition

during

show examples

the 1971

Correct your spelling

worldwide

show examples

world wide

Correct your spelling

worldwide

show examples

war and

Russian

Correct article usage

the Russian

show examples

government

sent their entire air crafts to protect all Indians from the warzone. To sum up, spending money on armed

forces

the

Correct article usage

show examples

necessity for safety

purpose

Fix the agreement mistake

purposes

show examples

as well as

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will make the strong

relation

Replace the word

relationship

show examples

between

two

Correct article usage

the two

show examples

nations for

further

support.

Submitted by rahulgpatel19 on Wed Nov 30 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
51Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

365 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

International Diplomacy
United Nations
pandemics
socioeconomic improvements
literacy rates
economic development
social stability
military expenditure
deterrent
cyber-attacks
terrorism
biological warfare
critical areas
well-rounded approach
prosperous society

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THE WORLD TODAY IS A SAFER PLACE THAN IT WAS A HUNDRED YEARS AGO, AND GOVERNMENT SHOULD STOP SPENDING LARGE AMOUNTS OF MONEY ON THEIR ARMED FORCES.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

disadvantages and advantages of universal healthcare.[781]

Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this. Why is this happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?

in the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment not to Shop. Do you agree or disagree?

An increasing number of professionals such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

Some people believe that using animals to test the safety of human medicines is cruel and unwarranted, whereas others feel it is a medical necessity. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.