THE WORLD TODAY IS A SAFER PLACE THAN IT WAS A HUNDRED YEARS AGO, AND GOVERNMENT SHOULD STOP SPENDING LARGE AMOUNTS OF MONEY ON THEIR ARMED FORCES.

Owing to fascinating development in the field of

arm

Fix the agreement mistake

arms

show examples

and other

weapons

Use synonyms

, the 21st century

safer

Add a missing verb

is safer

show examples

compared to past

Use synonyms

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

show examples

Correct your spelling

Maybe

show examples

May be

Correct your spelling

Maybe

show examples

ten decades ago, in the war, tonnes of people died because of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nuclear

weapons

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However

Linking Words

, somewhere it is important for

civilian

Fix the agreement mistake

civilians

show examples

and

Use synonyms

nation

Fix the agreement mistake

nations

show examples

that

government

Use synonyms

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

to develop as well as should be updated in terms of

army

Add an article

the army

show examples

and all kinds of

weapons

Use synonyms

, which support them to protect the civilians. On the other

side

Add a comma

,side

show examples

some individuals believe that

government

Use synonyms

should stop

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

funding to improve their armed

forces

Use synonyms

. So, I strongly agree with the

first

Linking Words

statement that

government

Use synonyms

have to develop armed

forces

Use synonyms

as much as possible from the

past

Correct your spelling

last

show examples

time

Use synonyms

. The

first

Linking Words

and foremost crucial reason, which

support

Correct subject-verb agreement

supports

show examples

my agreement is the past wars. In the past

time

Use synonyms

, every

nation

Use synonyms

fought for lands, water,

money

Correct word choice

and money

show examples

Second

Linking Words

, before 1940 not even a single

nation

Use synonyms

had that level of technological knowledge that how to protect civilisation

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

form

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

wars. To explain it, in Hiroshima and

Nagashaki

Correct your spelling

Nagasaki

, the American air

forces

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dropped nuclear

weapons

Use synonyms

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

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two

terroteries

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territories

and

till

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

today’s

time

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the effect

Change preposition

of that

show examples

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

nuclear virus

is still impact

Change the verb form

still impacts

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

new babies,

which one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

born there.

Therefore

Linking Words

, armed

forces

Use synonyms

are the key to

secure

Correct article usage

a secure

show examples

and safe civilisation.

Moreover

Linking Words

, if the

nation

Use synonyms

has

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

strong power in terms of

weapons

Use synonyms

and

forces

Use synonyms

, it will beneficial for inhabitants as well as it is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

strong sign for that

Use synonyms

nation

Replace the word

national

show examples

government

Use synonyms

to prove

their

Change preposition

to their

show examples

civilians that they all are safe. Recently,

Indian

Correct article usage

the Indian

show examples

government

Use synonyms

update their armed

forces

Use synonyms

Change preposition

with

show examples

different types of

weapons

Use synonyms

Correct word choice

and heavy

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heavy

Replace the word

heavily

show examples

armed vehicles and bought approximately 47 air crafts, which help them in types of war.

Also

Linking Words

weapons

Use synonyms

and other armed materials improve the contact between two

Use synonyms

nation

Fix the agreement mistake

nations

show examples

as well as it will help them in future conflicts.

For instance

Linking Words

, in 1971,

Russian

Correct article usage

the Russian

show examples

army and

number

Correct article usage

a number

show examples

of Russian troops helped

Indian

Correct article usage

the Indian

show examples

government

Use synonyms

from

Change preposition

during

show examples

the 1971

Correct your spelling

worldwide

show examples

world wide

Correct your spelling

worldwide

show examples

war and

Russian

Correct article usage

the Russian

show examples

government

Use synonyms

sent their entire air crafts to protect all Indians from the warzone. To sum up, spending money on armed

forces

Use synonyms

the

Correct article usage

show examples

necessity for safety

purpose

Fix the agreement mistake

purposes

show examples

as well as

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will make the strong

relation

Replace the word

relationship

show examples

between

two

Correct article usage

the two

show examples

nations for

further

Linking Words

support.

rahulgpatel19

Nov 30, 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
51
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

365 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

International Diplomacy
United Nations
pandemics
socioeconomic improvements
literacy rates
economic development
social stability
military expenditure
deterrent
cyber-attacks
terrorism
biological warfare
critical areas
well-rounded approach
prosperous society

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THE WORLD TODAY IS A SAFER PLACE THAN IT WAS A HUNDRED YEARS AGO, AND GOVERNMENT SHOULD STOP SPENDING LARGE AMOUNTS OF MONEY ON THEIR ARMED FORCES.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialized facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with family and friends, whereas now many suffer loneliness and health problems. What are the causes of this and what are some solutions?

Some people believe that the best way to produce a happier society is to ensure that there only small differences between the richest and the poorest members. To what extent do you agree or disagree?