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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

food can be produced much more cheaply today because of improved fertilizer and better machinery.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your opinion.

#food #fertilizer #machinery
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It is true that
people
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 are able to access affordable
food
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 thanks to the
development
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 of agriculture and machinery. From my point of view,
this
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 has its benefits and drawbacks. My essay will shed light on
this
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 issue and give my opinion. On the one hand, there are many benefits of
food
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 prices since the improvement of horticulture.
Firstly
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, providing enough
food
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 to a whole society can lead to a decline in the number of
people
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 who live in poverty life. Since
people
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 are able to buy
food
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, they will not bear the brunt of the cost of living, which results in the living standard will be ameliorated.
Secondly
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, when
people
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 can solve the shortage of
food
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, they can spend money on developing other fields
such
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 as
technology
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 and health care. If
people
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 can save the budget from cultivation due to the
development
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 of machines, they are able to maximize using money.
For example
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, as soon as the community can focus on developing health care, they will foster the pace of
development
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 of it, leading to a longer life for all residents.
On the other hand
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, the drawbacks of significant improvement in
technology
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 in agriculture should not be overlooked. Many high-tech machines are unaffordable to low-income
countries
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.
This
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 can prevent these
countries
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 to access modern
technology
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 and thereby, the number of impoverished
people
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 remains unchanged.
Furthermore
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, the imbalance of
development
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 of agriculture among
countries
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 can lead to a big gap between rich and poor
countries
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.
As a result
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,
people
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 in poor
countries
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 fail to make ends meet. In conclusion, despite the
development
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 of
technology
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 in horticulture,
people
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 seem unable to take advantage of it.
Accordingly
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, governments should create a policy that provides the fairly right to
people
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 to access across the globe.
Submitted by hunglelehung0607 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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