IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that space exploration is a waste of resources while others think that it is essential for mankind to continue to explore the universe in which we live. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
The ongoing evolution made humankind more curious about exploring outer space and the results achieved were interesting so far.
However
Linking Words
, people argue whether more money should be spent on
such
Linking Words
 activities, or whether it's a waste of resources and effort. In my opinion, scientists should double their efforts to reach the desired outcomes.
Body paragraph 1
to start, exploration is the key to the technological advancement
that
Linking Words
is surrounding
Wrong verb form
surrounds
show examples
 us.
initially
Linking Words
, contacting people was almost impossible and mail would take months to reach from one country to another
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, but today,
due to
Linking Words
 satellite connections to outer space, we are able to access the internet for communication, study and entertainment.
Moreover
Linking Words
, scientists were able to land on the moon and
mars
Capitalize word
Mars
show examples
 and explore numerous galaxies where
life
Use synonyms
 might be possible.
nevertheless
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 requires intensive research and funding as well.
Body paragraph 2
On the other side, these huge expenses could be spent better on improving the quality of
life
Use synonyms
 for citizens around the world.
For instance
Linking Words
, the yearly death rate among children
due to
Linking Words
 poverty is around 20%
according to
Linking Words
 a recent study.
Therefore
Linking Words
, money can be wisely spent to feed and educate communities in need and funds should be designated toward the elimination of poverty.
In addition
Linking Words
, medical research should be prioritized to find effective treatments for illnesses and diseases that have been facing humankind for decades.
For example
Linking Words
,
covid 19
Correct your spelling
the COVID-19
 breakdown led to the death of millions despite all the efforts to find an effective medicine.
consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 sheds
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
light on the weakness of the medical field and the lack of support and resources.
Conclusion
To sum up
Linking Words
, there is a debate about spending
further
Linking Words
 money on space exploration among people. in fact, some believe that it is a vital step in achieving levels of development,
while
Linking Words
 others think that these resources should be addressed toward improving the quality of
life
Use synonyms
. I believe that spending on scientific research is essential to finding
life
Use synonyms
 outside the earth.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses both sides of the argument and provides a well-rounded view on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion, but there is room for improvement in linking ideas more effectively and using a wider range of cohesive devices.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • astronomical costs
  • earthbound issues
  • tangible benefits
  • technological spin-offs
  • innovation
  • long-term investment
  • habitability
  • interplanetary travel
  • sustainable exploration
  • spacefaring nations
  • international collaboration
  • deep space
  • the final frontier
  • cosmic perspective
  • frontiers of science
What to do next:
Look at other essays: