IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

‘Healthcare should always be funded by governments, and it should always be free for people to use.’ To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?

#‘healthcare #governments #people #idea
Having free
healthcare
 should be the
right
that is
 provided to every individual. Governments should be obligated to pay for each and every person's health costs no matter the financial status.
Although
 I agree with
this
 statement some
people
 have a different view.
To begin
 with, governments should fund
healthcare
 because every life is worth the same. We are living in a materialistic world where it is easy to get carried away and only look at someone's financial situation, moreso we determine their worth only by looking at
this
 aspect. I believe that
this
 point of view is not
right
.
For example
, a minimum wage worker should not have less
right
 to receive treatment
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 an upper-class individual.
Furthermore
,
people
 in charge of the country are spending their money on useless things rather
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 focusing their funding on something as useful as
this
, like building new buildings that are not needed when they could spend it on providing
healthcare
.
On the other hand
, you might think, "Well there are already too many
people
 in the world. Why should we save
people
 who do not even have enough money to pay for their treatment."
This
 indicates
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a materialistic point of view. I think that the better way to keep
this
 problem in check is to let
people
 who can not be cured pass away, and the ones that can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
able to do that. Other ways are just not morally
right
. To conclude, not funding
healthcare
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 each citizen is not morally
right
. Even more, it only contributes to the evolution of the materialistic world that we live in. For these
Add a comma
,reasonings
show examples
reasonings
Replace the word
reasons
show examples
 every individual should have
healthcare
 provided by their government.
Submitted by sofija.perzic on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Universal healthcare
  • Commodified
  • Public health standards
  • Economic burden
  • Mixed healthcare system
  • Preventive healthcare
  • Efficiency
  • Quality of care
  • Fundamental human right
  • Government-funded
  • Private sector involvement
  • Healthcare services
  • Education in healthcare
What to do next:
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