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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries paying things using mobile phone apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#countries #phone #apps #development
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Because of the significant growth of technology
people
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 can use mobile phones for a range of purposes one of the new uses for the mobile phone is online
payment
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. In
this
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 essay, I discuss both advantages and disadvantages of
this
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 newest technology. There are several benefits to it
for instance
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 after covid-19 pandemic and fear of
people
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 touching anything which could spread the disease
such
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 as cash, or ATM machine these
apps
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 provide so useful. Many companies or banks provide online
payment
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apps
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,
for instance
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, Amazon, Google
payment
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, Paypal, etc… all of them can be used easily just by a smart mobile phone and they have some security issues
people
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 should do them
such
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 as using P2P factor or using a powerful firewall for preventing to hack. In recent years a new means of money and
payment
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system
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 was invented called Cryptocurrency, because of the decentralizing
system
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 they are more secure than regular money and
payment
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 systems. Anyway, most
people
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 use the regular
system
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 and in spite of the fact they make our life easier and safer from disease and
also
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 making speed up our life, they had extremely dangerous if the government does not have serious supervising and making some powerful rules for programmers and companies on how to provide these
apps
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 for protecting the user’s personal data and making extremely trusty firewall. In my opinion, online
payment
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apps
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 are a hatch to the new world.
However
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, I do not have any trust in all of the
apps
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 provided by banks or financial companies, I believe in the decentralizing
system
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 of cryptocurrencies
such
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 as Bitcoin, Ethereum, Dash, etc… In conclusion, the advantages of online
payment
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 are more than disadvantages just doing some security
behavior
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behaviour
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. And in my opinion, the future is for electronic
payment
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 systems specially Cryptocurrencies and I highly recommend that
people
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 should read and learn about them.
Submitted by ahad.sabzi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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