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Band 4.5

Many people believe that educational standards have decliend in recent times, particularly int he areas of literacy and numeracy. Discuss the causes of this problem and offer some possible solutions to it.

#people #standards #decliend #times #int #areas #literacy #numeracy #offer
In several countries, some
people
 think it is needed to spend
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 amount of
money
 on constructing
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
railway
Fix the agreement mistake
railways
show examples
 for bullet trains between cities and some
people
 think it is better to
spent
Change the verb
spend
show examples
money
 on
enhance
Change the verb form
enhancing
show examples
 existing public
transport
. While thinking of the benefits for the citizen, I believed that it
better
Add a missing verb
is better
show examples
 to improve existing public
transport
 to provide commute workers. On the one hand, public
transport
 is the hiding backbone of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic growth in one area. A bunch of benefits follow with it. With good public
transport
, it can
reduced
Change the verb form
reduce
show examples
 the number of
people
 using their private car that leads to lesser traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 and lower air pollution.
In addition
, it can make
people
 more productive since they did not spend a lot of their time on the way home or on the way to work.
Also
, with
lower
Add an article
a lower
the lower
show examples
 number of
people
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 their private car, the gas price does not affect anymore to the price of primary needs (inflation) since
gas
Add an article
the gas
show examples
 station is no longer their basic needs. At the end of the day, better public
Correct your spelling
transport
tansport
Correct your spelling
transport
 plays a big role in
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
large
Change the article
a large
show examples
 amount of
money
 to build a new railway line is
such
 a waste. There are only
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
commuter
Change to a plural noun
commuters
show examples
go
Correct pronoun usage
who go
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other cities for work,
often times
Correct your spelling
oftentimes
show examples
people
 who are going to other cities is for holiday and it is only will be useful in
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 season.
Also
, now we already have
airplance
Correct your spelling
aeroplanes
aeroplane
 that provides much faster and
reliable
Correct quantifier usage
more reliable
show examples
 transportation. In conclusion, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 it is always better to improve existing public
transport
 to promote the economy of one area rather than spend
large
Change the article
a large
show examples
 amount of
money
 to build new railways line since we already have better
Correct your spelling
transportation
transportion
Correct your spelling
transportation
 like
airplane
Fix the agreement mistake
airplanes
show examples
 nowadays.
Submitted by matlbert20 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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