The percentage of overweight children in the western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

#percentage #children #society #ten #years #effects #trend

There has been much discussion revolving around the question

why

Change preposition

of why

show examples

there has been a rise of obese youngsters in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

western society and what effects it could have.

This

essay will explain

possible

Correct article usage

the possible

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causes and effects of it. Considering arguments can be made that junk food is much cheaper and a smart choice for

low income

Add a hyphen

low-income

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families to buy.

As a result

of that, children eat unhealthy food which increases the risk of getting overweight.

Moreover

, another thing that can cause

this

obvious plight is too little physical activity. Most young people squander their time on the Internet or in front of a TV munching snacks full of

fiber

Change the spelling

fibre

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and fat. In that

way

Add a comma

,way

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children don’t take time to do sports or even take a walk which decreases the

amount

Change the quantifier

number

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of calories being burned out. It is essential to have some physical activity to have the unnecessary calories

burn

Wrong verb form

burned

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out to keep a healthy diet and body. If not addressed properly,

this

could end in a tragic pitfall.

For example

, if not maintaining a healthy diet and becoming obese even having low income

this

could lead to severe health issues. Being overweight is a hindrance that increases the risk of cancer or heart problems.

In addition

, getting overweight increases high blood pressure which can lead to death. To sum everything up, not having a proper diet and not maintaining physical activity could lead to numerous risks that could lead to death. It is important to foster children's understanding of the issues that obesity can create to prevent them.

Submitted by oimigle on Thu Dec 01 2022

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

overweight
obesity
caloric intake
sedentary lifestyle
screen time
physical education
nutritious
psychological well-being
self-esteem
socioeconomic
healthcare system
life expectancy
obesity-related complications

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The percentage of overweight children in the western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasis that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Q. The government should ban smoking in all public places, even though this would restrict some people's freedoms. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer.

Employers should give their staff at least four weeks of holiday a year to help employees get better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people like to work in teams. Others prefer to work alone. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

The richer countries of the world spend billions on space travel and space exploration. Do you think this is a good use of money? What in your opinion could be done to better use the resources of a country?