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Writing Samples
Band 4

At the present time, the popualtion of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #popualtion #countries #adults #people #situation
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if we compare the number of
young
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a young
the young
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person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 with the one of older, we see that the
first
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 is far superior to the other in many countries. a category sees that could present an advantage for the nations, while others agree
that is
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 creating a lot of challenges. in
this
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 essay I will discuss both aspects, giving examples for every case.
first
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 of all, due to
demographic
Correct article usage
the demographic
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explosion
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,explosion
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 the portion of juniors became important which is make
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society more active,
in other
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words
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,words
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 there is less number of retirees, so the financial part for helping
this
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 category whose considered
as
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apply
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inabel, could be reduced,
as a
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result
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,result
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 guarantee an
economical
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economic
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 development for the country.
moreover
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, statistics prove that person between twenty to forty years old
are
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is
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 the most
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creative
creatif
Correct your spelling
creative
,
also
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 they are more ambitious which make
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society productive and successful on many levels.
second
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 of all, thinking of the disadvantages, in the
first
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 degree we found a rise in unemployment, the main reason is the incapability of the government to assure a job for all that number of youngsters who need to work. and that produces many social issues
such
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 as poverty, criminality and immigration. to sum up, being
a
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in a
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young society means being productive,
Correct your spelling
active
actif
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active
 and creative, but ,
unfortunately
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,unfortunately
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 that comes with significant challenges
such
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 as employment which is a reel nightmare for any nation's development, the ideal is finding a balance between
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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two
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two-stage
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stage
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stages
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 of life.
Submitted by Ltif.mariem on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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