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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many workplaces, online communication is getting more common than meeting face to face. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#workplaces #communication #face #development
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Nowadays, online
communication
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 is getting more popular than meeting
face to face
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face-to-face
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 in many companies. In my opinion, online conversations have more benefits compared to its drawbacks. Admittedly, there are some basic drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
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 online meetings. One of the
problems
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 of online
communication
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 is
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time
Add an article
a time
the time
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 difference. The difference
of
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in
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time
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 between places or countries can cause some difficulties.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
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 who
work
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 for
USA
Correct article usage
a USA
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 company and live in Japan can face some
problems
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, because there
is
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are
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 14 hours between these two countries. Another problem is
health
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a health
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issue
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issues
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. Most
of
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apply
show examples
Use synonyms
people
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the people
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 who
work
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remote
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remotely
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 might have some medical
problems
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,
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apply
show examples
 because they do not
Correct your spelling
do
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to
Correct your spelling
do
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 any physical activities
in
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during
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a
Correct article usage
the
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 day. It can lead to fatness and other medical diseases.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, despite the disadvantages of online
communication
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, there are some significant profits
of
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from
show examples
 it.
First
Linking Words
 of all, online
communication
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 is easy and comfortable. Individuals who
work
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 in remote jobs do not have to wake up early and prepare for the job. So they could save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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time
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 and
work
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 more efficiently.
In addition
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, as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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traffic is
problem
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a problem
the problem
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 in many big cities,
online
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an online
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meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
 can reduce it. With the help of
it
Add a comma
,it
show examples
people
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 do not waste
time
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 in traffic
,
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apply
show examples
 and gain more
time
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 for their jobs.
Secondly
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, as it
known
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is known
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 that infectious diseases are the one of main
problems
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 in today’s world, online
communication
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 could decrease diseases which spread via air. To sum up,
although
Linking Words
communicate
Wrong verb form
communicating
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Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
with people
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 online could cause some
problems
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, in my opinion,
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of it outweigh its drawbacks.
Submitted by manqanat1 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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