Some people think that the only students who are best academic achievers should be rewarded. Others feel that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Rewarding scholars on the basis of their studies is considered important by some individuals
whereas
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others are in opposition to
this
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idea believing that students showing improvement be rewarded.
This
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essay will not only shed light on both the perceptions but my point of view will be elaborated in conclusion. To commence with the first notion, there are myriad things to be shared in the favour. First of all, rewarding for higher credentials ensures the individuals that their hard work pays off. In India,
for instance
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, the top graders from each class are either given a trophy or medal as a present for standing out from the rest of the class.
Thus
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, motivating every child to study hard which in turn would aid in securing a better future. Moving towards the second argument of awarding for improvement, the first point is that it enhances the spirit of self-esteem. To elaborate, those who are awarded for getting better grades with each attempt, study even harder to give their best.
As a result
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, the
overall
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result of the educational institute improves.
Moreover
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, it eradicates the pressure on the students who feel distressed by competition, allowing them to focus on personal development rather than comparison with top performers.
To conclude
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, after thorough research on both sides, it cannot be clearer that it is more effective and better to reward the students who show better changes in their results and performance.
Hence
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, a comprehensive and collaborative approach is required by institutes to follow
this
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.

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coherence
Consider providing clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to enhance the logical flow of your arguments.
content
You present a balanced discussion of both views, which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic achievers
  • reward
  • improvement
  • growth mindset
  • high potential
  • competitive environment
  • self-esteem
  • inclusive environment
  • personal development
  • role models
  • equitable recognition
  • discouraged
  • striving for excellence
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