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Band 4.5

TASK 2: Some people think that competitive sports should be included as a subject in school, while others believe that it has negative effect on children. Discuss both the views and give your opinion

#people #sports #school #effect #children
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Adolescents are strongly influenced by famous
people
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, they believe that these stars are the perfect example to follow to have success in life. I believe
this
Linking Words
 thought can have a negative development on young souls
,
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 because many are not able to distinguish what
it
Correct pronoun usage
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is right and what is wrong to emulate. By doing
this
Linking Words
 they could end up
in
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copying some bad actions done by their idol. Juveniles tend to be inspired by famous
people
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 because they believe that if they copy their actions and lifestyle they will become popular too.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it happens often that especially young boys, during the stages of middle and high school, begin to wear certain clothes and
to
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behave in a certain manner just to be like their idol.
For example
Linking Words
, many scholars tend to
This
Linking Words
 trend,
however
Linking Words
, can have negative aspects if those students are not able to separate what
it
Correct pronoun usage
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is right to do and what is wrong.
For example
Linking Words
, in
Italy
Add a comma
,Italy
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 many guys are inspired by the Italian rap scene which in different songs talks about drugs, baby gangs, and robberies.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
,result
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 many groups of young
people
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 are formed with the aim of causing chaos in their towns. To conclude, I believe that emulating famous
people
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 can lead to negative behaviours by
this
Linking Words
 young generation who is not able to differentiate what is correct to do and what is incorrect, ending up
in
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copying bad lifestyles that will ruin their growth.
Submitted by edoardo.rivoli99 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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