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Writing Samples
Band 5

With growing populations in cities, more and more people live in homes with little or no outdoor spaces. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Because of growing populations in cities, more and more
people
Use synonyms
 tend to live in homes without any outdoor
spaces
Use synonyms
 like gardens or balconies.
This
Linking Words
 is a feature that can have a major impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the daily routine. Many, like me, indeed, prefer going out rather than staying at their place because they feel suffocated in their small apartments. Living in a house with little or no outdoor
spaces
Use synonyms
 may lead to negative consequences on
people
Use synonyms
’s behaviour and personality. During the COVID-19 Pandemic,
for example
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, many families were obliged to
staying
Wrong verb form
stay
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 at home because of
lockdown
Correct article usage
the lockdown
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.
As a result
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, many
people
Use synonyms
, especially adolescents, began to suffer from different diseases related to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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mental health
such
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 as
disturb
Replace the word
disturbance
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of
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apply
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personality, panic attacks and anxiety.
However
Linking Words
, it has been demonstrated that
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 cases occurred much more in
people
Use synonyms
 who lived in tiny and narrow
spaces
Use synonyms
 rather than in families who had the luck to have a garden. There, in fact, during that unprecedented time,
people
Use synonyms
 could have a walk and take a breath out of their homes. Activities that have a positive influence on our body and mind. Another downside of not having any outdoor
spaces
Use synonyms
 is related to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productivity. As a matter of fact,
people
Use synonyms
 who live in small and suffocating
spaces
Use synonyms
 tend to be less productive. Productivity, in fact, depends on different
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
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such
Linking Words
 as the environment, the
people
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 who surround you,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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 place where you live.
Therefore
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, those who
stays
Change the verb form
stay
show examples
 in
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
uncomfortable accommodation,
for
Linking Words
example
Add the comma(s)
,example
show examples
 most of the students, likely get bad grades which influence and condition their mental health in a continuous cycle. To conclude, I believe that having
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 house without any garden
nor
Correct word choice
or
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 balcony can have a really negative development on
people
Use synonyms
’s
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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 especially children and adolescents who are the ones that have more need than anyone of having their
Use synonyms
spaces
Fix the agreement mistake
space
show examples
.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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