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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that money is the major source of happiness. Do you agree or disagree.

#people #money #source #happiness
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The 21st century has witnessed an unprecedented change in people's faith that
money
Use synonyms
 is the chief foundation of euphoria.
This
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 has created two schools of thought: one claims that
money
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 is the prime factor to lead to happiness.
However
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,
on the other hand
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,
this
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 notion might
also
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 create a strong backlash, with which I completely agree.
This
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 essay will elaborate on both sides of
this
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 issue and provide a personal perspective. It is my contention that in the modern era, being financially stable is the dominant feature to establish the structure of a self-sufficient and contented life. In light of the fact that the living standards of civilians have elevated, people need to increase their average spending in the budget. To be specific, aside from the daily needs and taxes for the government, they wish to have a spare proportion of
money
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 to spend on their own recreational activities.
Furthermore
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, according to the teaching of philosophy, materials are what determine consciousness; to obtain what we truly desire, we need to have the
currency
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 to afford it. An example to exemplify
this
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 case is that if a person wanted to purchase a mansion, they would need a budget to gain that estate. By buying that estate, that person becomes joyous.
However
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, if that person was not able to afford that house, that man would be unable to satisfy his own needs, resulting in his own grievance due to poverty. As a consequence, it is relatable that the modern age leads to the conclusion that
currency
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 is the leading element to having a trouble-free life.
On the other hand
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,
money
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 is regarded as the primary factor causing detrimental effects for citizens. Due to the module of politics based on
currency
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, the disparity between the poor and the wealthy is stark in comparison.
Moreover
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, it leads to the agony of those who are not rich enough.
For instance
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, if there was a conflict between the poor and the wealthy, the judgement of the court would undoubtedly lean toward the poor because they are not affluent. Another critical point is that from ancient to modern,
currency
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 in any form is commonly the source of conflict since the nature of humans is greedy.
As a result
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, wealth is not a constant means to acquire euphoria. To conclude, while
money
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 is an essential element to one's merriment, it can result in bad examples if people indulge themselves in the lavishness of
currency
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.
Submitted by khanhphuong1852 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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