Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence.
Experiments
proof
that the features we are born with have more influence on Replace the word
prove
person's
personality and growth rather than any experiences we may gain in our Correct article usage
a person's
life
.I believe the life
episodes which we have gone through are essential
Correct quantifier usage
more essential
on
an individual's character development than the aspects we're born with.
Nowadays,people are obsessed with the current society which Change preposition
to
control
by Wrong verb form
is controlled
the
technology.Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
,human beings are trying to develop themselves by depend
on their knowledge.Every individual Change the verb form
depending
gain
their knowledge through maturity.Undoubtedly,the qualities we are born with do not Change the verb form
gains
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
on
someone's evolution.Change preposition
apply
Human
can be genetically similar to the previous generation's outer looks but,they do not show any similarities Fix the agreement mistake
Humans
of
the thoughts and activities they follow.Change preposition
in
For example
,ancient
times people Change preposition
in ancient
use
letters to communicate.In fact, minor social media platforms but, Wrong verb form
used
at
the present world most of them are using mobile phones whenever they need to express anything.Change preposition
in
Finally
,the
personal occurrences Correct article usage
apply
are
Verb problem
play
the
supreme role Correct article usage
a
of
everyone's progress than heredity.
Change preposition
in
Additionally
,the younger generation try
to become more successful by imitating others.Change the verb form
tries
Such
as,
celebrities and leaders of a country.In that case, people change their lives gradually to Remove the comma
apply
the
modern social habitats.They learn and observe the struggle in the present and try to work Correct article usage
apply
accordingly
. For instance
,the one who use
an Change the verb form
uses
android
phone Capitalize word
Android
is now tries
to buy an iPhone. Change the verb form
is now trying
Last
but not least, the youngers
do not follow the rituals which Correct your spelling
youngsters
followed
by their elders.They continue their own ways of doing work.
In conclusion,the genes we Add a missing verb
are followed
got
at birth and the characteristics we are born with are not important Verb problem
have
on
one's Change preposition
in
life
's enlargement but, in my opinion,the experiences we may have in our life
be
the major influence on our personality and Wrong verb form
are
it
make the path to success.Correct pronoun usage
they
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task response
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the influence of characteristics we are born with versus life experiences on personality and development. However, some examples and explanations could be more relevant and well-developed to strengthen the arguments.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are supported, but the essay could benefit from better organization and transitions between ideas to enhance coherence and cohesion.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...