In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sport or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays ,it is
trended
Replace the word
trend
show examples
among
people
to have a personal fitness coach rather than
planning
Replace the word
plan
show examples
for their
Correct your spelling
exercise
excercise
Correct your spelling
exercise
time and
also
their diet by
Correct your spelling
themselves
themseves
Correct your spelling
themselves
.
Although
,currently it becomes very popular and common,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
I think it has not had a positive
effect
so far.Now
firstly
I would like to tell some reasons
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why
people
hire a personal trainer and
secondly
Add a comma
,secondly
show examples
I am writing about how it influences
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
life? and
finally
I am going to make a conclusion.
By the
Change preposition
The
show examples
begin with ,
progressing
Replace the word
progress
show examples
in technology has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dramatically
Replace the word
dramatic
show examples
change
Wrong verb form
changed
show examples
so you will not be surprised by seeing
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
effect
Add an article
an effect
the effect
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
your life. After
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
became viral ,
people
have access to their requirements easily and without much effort ,
for instance
, they can stay at home and do their task online and
also
make money as
Add an article
a freelancer
show examples
freelancer
Fix the agreement mistake
freelancers
show examples
,
However
it has some positive effects but it grows
people
too much easy going
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
example,they do not need to take much for getting information about an academic subject they just surf through the internet for less than one hour and collect a useful knowledge which they need.
As a result
, I think technology is one of the
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
that
people
would rather hire a personal trainer because it is more comfortable. I believe, it is very important you think about ' is it a positive or negative development?'because you will see its
effect
on the future generation . For some reason , I think it has a negative
effect
.
Firstly
, when you go to the gym with others you can find new friends and become more sociable.
Secondly
, going
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
gym with others may bring out our competitive sense and you will get your
Correct your spelling
exercise
excercise
Correct your spelling
exercise
more
serious
Change the word
seriously
show examples
.
Finally
, you have to get more responsibilities , if you want to plan
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
your diet and
Correct your spelling
exercise
excercise
Correct your spelling
exercise
time and
also
you have to get more responsible and it will help you become more responsible.I believe you will not be a successful person unless you try it and get more practice in it. In conclusion , I would state that the world is moving fast with the growing trend of hiring personal trainers and these resources are impacting negatively development in
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
life.
Submitted by Nedjoo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fitness
  • Health
  • Personalized
  • Effective
  • Workout routines
  • Motivation
  • Guidance
  • Busy schedules
  • Limited time
  • One-on-one training
  • Qualified
  • Experienced
  • Overall well-being
What to do next:
Look at other essays: