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Band 5.5

More and more people are buying through the  online shopping in the last decade.. Do you think, it is positive or negative development.

#people #decade #development
Over the 10 years, there has been
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 increase in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
people
 who are purchasing products via online shopping. From my point of view, shopping online is
positive
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a positive
show examples
 development. There is no doubt that
,
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apply
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it has some beneficial sides
of
Change preposition
to
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 online shopping for our public. For one,
this
 kind of process of shopping creates the convenience of buying
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
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 for our crowd. For
this
 reason, if somebody going to buy something
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the traditional way of
people
, it may be
Correct your spelling
significantly
sigaficantly
Correct your spelling
significantly
 difficult situation to purchase the products and deliver them
into
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to
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 the house.
However
, if it is to be
a
Change the article
an
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 online shopping service, it would have many
convenience
Change to a plural noun
conveniences
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 of online shopping, even with the free delivery service.
For example
, at the present time, there have been living many disabled and busy
people
 all over the world,
thus
 online shopping can create
the
Correct article usage
apply
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actual serviceability
particularly
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,particularly
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 for these types of humans. On the  other hand, I still believe that it
also
 has  some negative aspects on our society. It is
undeniably
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undeniable
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 that online
sale
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sales
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 may mislead
to
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apply
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people
 and
this
 can cause  some problems between
company’s
Correct article usage
the company’s
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 staff and
consumer
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consumers
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.
For instance
, there has been
increasing
Correct article usage
an increasing
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 number of conflicts between
consumer
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consumers
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 and online
shopper
Fix the agreement mistake
shoppers
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 because of wrong
informations
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information
pieces of information
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 about the products which are
selling
Wrong verb form
sold
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on
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in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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online shops. But, traditional
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
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 of purchasing
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not much helpful rather than online shopping. In
final
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the final
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 analysis, despite the fact that online shopping has some disadvantages. It cannot prevent
to pick
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picking
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 up goods
by
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from
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 online websites, for
this
reason
Add the comma(s)
,reason
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 online shopping
include
Correct subject-verb agreement
includes
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 some positive trends like
convenience
Add an article
the convenience
show examples
 and free delivery service.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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