Some people rely too much on doctors instead of taking care of their own health. They think all health problems can just by ‘fixed’ by visiting doctors. What problems could this approach to healthcare cause and how might they be solved?

People
too
Replace the word
to
show examples
trust doctors
while
Correct word choice
when
show examples
they do not think about their own
health
.
Community
Add an article
The community
show examples
are sure that issues can be tackled by asking
medicine
Replace the word
medical
show examples
workers. How
such
Correct your spelling
much
show examples
troubles can influence healthcare and
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
way could help fix them? Many become care of
themselves's
Change noun form
their
show examples
health
less
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
than it was earlier. It happens, because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
people
are afraid of visiting a
doctor
as a
Correct your spelling
dentist
dantist
Correct your spelling
dentist
.
For instance
, we try to keep calm till
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
critical situation, when a
toothpain
Correct your spelling
tooth pain
is ultimate
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because we got used, that a dentist will help us
during
Change preposition
for
show examples
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
several hours. We should just visit him/her and spend not much time. Despite the fact, that a dentist helps, sometimes it happens so late
and
Correct word choice
that
show examples
we can not
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
save our teeth.
However
, if we cleaned it
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
twice with
Correct your spelling
tooth string
tooth strong
toothstring
Correct article usage
a toothstring
show examples
, we would keep
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
teeth. Very often
people
think, that signs,
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
our body shows to us, are not significant and we should not see
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
For instance
, a lot of
people
do not pay attention
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
they become more tired when they
sleep
Add a missing verb
do sleep
show examples
not enough. Contrary to
consultate
Correct your spelling
consult
with a
doctor
about the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
problem, they think that it does not matter for
body
Add an article
the body
show examples
. And, obviously,
people
are not ready
spend
Add the particle
to spend
show examples
time and money just for asking advice from
Correct your spelling
specialist
specialists
Correct article usage
a specilist
show examples
specilist
Correct your spelling
specialists
, they
prefer
Add the particle
toprefer
show examples
continue to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not care about their own
health
. Only when
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
can not work, because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
he
she
show examples
is
Correct your spelling
exhausted
exhasted
Correct your spelling
exhausted
, after that they phone
doctor
Add an article
the doctor
show examples
and ask
helping
Change the form of the verb
help
show examples
. In conclusion,
people
should feel
Add an article
the responsibility
show examples
responsibility
Replace the word
responsible
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
condition
Add an article
the condition
show examples
of their own
health
and care about it,
be
Correct word choice
and be
show examples
Correct your spelling
attentive
attantive
Correct your spelling
attentive
to
signs
Correct article usage
the signs
show examples
, which
body
Correct article usage
the body
show examples
gives.
Moreover
,
community
Add an article
the community
a community
show examples
must not hope that
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
can be able to save us in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
any situation, because we can visit a
doctor
too late.
Submitted by alex.i.leontev on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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