People should follow the customs and traditions when people start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #customs #traditions #country

In my free

time

, I love to relax

myself

Remove the pronoun

apply

show examples

by listening to

music

and watching my

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

films. I study all day, so after 7 PM is the only

time

that I can use for myself. I have a smartphone, so I can download a lot of songs from the Internet for free, and I usually listen to them with my headphones. If no one is at home, I will turn on the loudspeakers to have the best experience with

music

, but most of the

time

I only listen to

music

with headphones.

Besides

music

, movies are my

second

biggest love. When I am not listening to the songs, I turn on my computer and watch some of the latest movies on the websites. My parents want me to read books to learn even in my free

time

, but I think I should do what I actually love to make myself comfortable. My leisure activity is drawing and drawing. I enjoy doing

this

because it makes me relaxed and

forget

Change the verb form

forgets

show examples

annoying things in my life. I started drawing and painting when I was 6 years old. And my sister is the person who inspires me to take up

this

hobby. I draw and paint what I see. I use pencils, brushes,

Correct word choice

and chalks

show examples

chalks

Fix the agreement mistake

chalk

show examples

. I enjoy the world with

colors

Change the spelling

colours

show examples

. Drawing and painting make my sadness and unhappiness disappear. I think I will continue

this

hobby in the future.

Submitted by bttha.qn on Sat Dec 03 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

237 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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People should follow the customs and traditions when people start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Technological development leads to lots of environmental issues. Some people think a simple lifestyle can preserve the environment while others argue that technology itself can solve it. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Should humans adapt to technology or should technology be adapted to us? Is technology making us intellectually weaker or more intelligent? Discuss both views and give your point of view?

Many people believe that social networking side like ( facebook ) have had a use negative impact on both individuals and society .to what extend do you agree?

Today, the life expectancy of people is much higher than before. Some people think that older people should continue to be involved in workforce. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Public transportation is a great way to travel, particularly within a metropolis. The metro is the most convenient way to get around a city. Do you agree or disagree?