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Band 3.5

People should follow the customs and traditions when people start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #customs #traditions #country
In my free
time
, I love to relax
myself
Remove the pronoun
apply
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by listening to
music
 and watching my
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 films. I study all day, so after 7 PM is the only
time
 that I can use for myself. I have a smartphone, so I can download a lot of songs from the Internet for free, and I usually listen to them with my headphones. If no one is at home, I will turn on the loudspeakers to have the best experience with
music
, but most of the
time
 I only listen to
music
 with headphones.
Besides
music
, movies are my
second
 biggest love. When I am not listening to the songs, I turn on my computer and watch some of the latest movies on the websites. My parents want me to read books to learn even in my free
time
, but I think I should do what I actually love to make myself comfortable. My leisure activity is drawing and drawing. I enjoy doing
this
 because it makes me relaxed and
forget
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forgets
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 annoying things in my life. I started drawing and painting when I was 6 years old. And my sister is the person who inspires me to take up
this
 hobby. I draw and paint what I see. I use pencils, brushes,
Correct word choice
and chalks
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chalks
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chalk
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. I enjoy the world with
colors
Change the spelling
colours
show examples
. Drawing and painting make my sadness and unhappiness disappear. I think I will continue
this
 hobby in the future.
Submitted by bttha.qn on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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