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Writing Samples
Band 7

With more available access to the internet, many students turn to online ‎sources to study instead of libraries. State some of the problems caused by ‎this and methods to address them.

There is an ever-increasing use of technology,
such
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 as tablets and laptops. It has been universally acknowledged that because of
this
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 most students switch to online studies rather than going to
libraries
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.
Although
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 there are many issues caused by
this
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, there are
also
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 numerous solutions to overcome
this
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 grave concern. Commencing with the causes which are responsible for its growth. First of all, many undergraduates prefer the internet as a vessel to
study
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due to
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 the unlimited material it provides at the touch of a button but they can get easily distracted. To elucidate
further
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, since many people
study
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 on their computer which is the same device they use to entertain themselves it undoubtedly diverts their attention towards games and movies.
Therefore
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, they could not focus on their education.
For instance
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, a recent
study
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 has shown that 70.90% of adolescents who studied from their laptops failed as they lost their focus
while
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 studying. In order to solve
this
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 serious issue, some measures can be taken.
Firstly
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, the government should invest money in modernising
libraries
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. To elaborate, they should spend on providing computers which have access to millions of accurate websites.
Secondly
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,
libraries
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 should build quiet rooms specifically for those students who prefer to
study
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 alone.
This
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 in turn will make them
study
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 at a library. As an illustration, in Canada, 40% of
libraries
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 have been modernized with the latest computers consisting of relevant information and quiet places.
Hence
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, 60.66% of people go to
libraries
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instead
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 of studying online at home. In conclusion, unquestionably, the above-mentioned problems can be solved by the given solutions. If proposed alternative solutions were to be implemented,
this
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 problem could be reduced to some extent, even if not totally eliminated. Government and people should come forward to mitigate
this
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 complex issue.

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task response
Ensure to directly address all parts of the essay question and provide a clear position. Develop ideas fully and support them with relevant, specific examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, ensure that the body paragraphs are logically structured and that ideas are linked coherently throughout the essay.
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