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Band 1

male and female gym membership between 1980 and 2010.

#gym #membership
This
 line chart depicts
ratio
Correct article usage
the ratio
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 of
subscriptionssubscribtion
Correct your spelling
subscriptions subscription
 between men and women from 1980-2010 in the gym .it is clear from the graph that there was a contradiction in the percentage between a gender. according to what is shown ,men in 1980 rocketed drastically after that 5 years later fell and
then
 quickly recovered and
also
 five
year
Change to a plural noun
years
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 at 1985
afterward
Change the spelling
afterwards
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 dropped and
then
 levelled off from (1990-1995)
next
 recovered faster and soard drastically and reached a high of 2005 after that plummeted to dramatically .
In
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On
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Correct article usage
the other
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other hand
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another hand
other hands
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,
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through
throughout
thought
throught
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throughout
 the five
Change to a plural noun
years
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year
Add a comma
,year
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from1980-1985
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from 1980-1985
 women rose gradually after that dipped and
then
 quickly recovered
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through
throughout
thought
throught
Correct your spelling
through
 the 5 years.
A
Change the article
The
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last
 ratio from 2005-2010 plunged
to
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apply
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dramatically .
The sum
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Sum
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 up , we could say men
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customers
custemers
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customers
Add a missing verb
have
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more
membership
Fix the agreement mistake
memberships
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 in the gym compared
female
Change preposition
to female
show examples
Correct your spelling
customers
custemers
Correct your spelling
customers
.
Submitted by shaumaalmadni on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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