In many countries schools have several problems with students behaviour. what do you think are the cause of this? What solution can you suggest?
There is an increasing number of student attitude problems in
school
systems in different nations. I think the main causes are the influence of social media
on student’s behaviour
and the lack of family control over their children
. The most viable solutions are to ban using smartphones in school
and to conduct educational workshops for parents about behavioural problems.
The main cause of student’s bad behaviour
is following the social media
trends. It, without doubt, affects how learners’ actions and teaches them some bad habits. In other words
, students spend the majority of their time
following influencers on Facebook, Snapchat, and other platforms and they copy their acts and teach it to their peers in school
. Another cause of behavioural issues is that family has no control over their kids; how they spend time
and with whom they spend it, thus
parents will have no guide on their children
's attitude. For example
, schools
in the USA have found that some families send their children
to summer camps without knowing where they go and what they will do during that time
.
The applicable solution to this
issue is to ban using phones during school
time
. Students will have to focus more on their school
activities and teachers have more time
to spend correcting their behaviour
and guiding them in the right way. Furthermore
, schools
should arrange workshops for guardians to teach them how to interact with their children
and to learn more about methods to correct any bad attitude that arises from their children
. For instance
, schools
in the UK arrange workshops for families in collaboration with some of the university professors who are experts in behavioural management.
To conclude
, social media
has a negative impact on students’ behaviour
also
family
lack of control over their Change noun form
family's
children
worsens their behavioural issues. To solve this
issue schools
should prohibit using phones inside schools
so students will have less time
to spend on social media
platforms, also
educational institutions should coordinate educational seminars for parents about behavioural problems.Submitted by nidaa_hamed on
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task achievement
You've made a strong effort in addressing the prompts comprehensively, covering both causes and solutions to the problem. To further enhance your essay, consider diving deeper into each cause and solution with more elaborated examples and a detailed analysis.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To improve upon this, work on enhancing the transitions between paragraphs for smoother flow and engagement.
task achievement
Addressed both the causes and solutions to students' behavioral issues comprehensively, showing a good understanding of the task.
task achievement
Effective use of examples to support your points, making your arguments stronger.
coherence cohesion
Good overall structure with a clear introduction and conclusion.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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