IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Government money should be used to support children in school for sports rather than to support professional sports and arts that perform for the general public. To what extent do you agree?

#government #money #support #children #school #sports #arts
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The pie chart and table illustrate how the police budget changed between 2011 and 2018 in the city of Briton. Generally speaking, the table gives the detailed price of the budget which is the money cost by the police and the chart shows where the money was spent. Looking at the table more clearly, the highest cost was national which was almost one-
third
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 of the total in 2017 and 2018.
Furthermore
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 , local taxes stand at
second
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 on the budget about 100 million per. The other sources remained the same costing about 38 million in two years.
Nevertheless
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, the total number increased by approximately 14 million from 2017 to 2018.
On the other hand
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, most of the money was planning on the salaries of officers and staff of which the percentage was 75% in 2017 and 69% in 2018.
In contrast
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, building and transport had remained in the same proportion at 17%.
Although
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, spending on technology had a slight increase from 8% to 14%, which was the lowest cost in total
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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