In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

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Because of competition in today's world, a lot of parents prefer to go
for
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to
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work. Some people agree with the statement as they think that children will get more benefits from the extra money earned while others believe
kids
Use synonyms
don't get parental support.
This
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essay will discuss that
although
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children get a feeling of loneliness, l believe it's necessary for them as they will get a good future. On the one hand,
kids
Use synonyms
tend to feel lonely when
Correct your spelling
their
thier
Correct your spelling
their
fathers or mothers go
for
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to
show examples
work.
That is
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to say, when
kids
Use synonyms
stay home with helpers, they become quiet and bored.
This
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does
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not only makes them feel uncomfortable but
also
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inactive and some of them become sick.
For
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example
Add a comma
,example
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research has proved that babies who stay home and don't get parental support for a long time, end up developing
illness
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illnesses
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like anxiety or depression.
On the other hand
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, providing better education is one of the
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
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that young adults may obtain from additional money.
In other words
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, schools, institutions and universities are very expensive in every nation
hence
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this
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forces
Correct your spelling
caretakers
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care takers
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caretakers
show examples
to work
more
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for more
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income
Correct your spelling
in order
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inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
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for their
kids
Use synonyms
to study
from
Change preposition
in
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conducive places.
Therefore
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, it will enable
the
Correct article usage
apply
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young adults to get a good future and good grades.
For instance
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, very many people in
uganda
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Uganda
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give testimonies of having got better future
as a result
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of their caretakers working more hours to earn more cash and
this
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is why l support
this
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statement. In conclusion, even though a child gets a feeling of loneliness when his/her family members go to their workplace, ln my opinion l believe that it is beneficial as they get a better life.
Submitted by jmeeme5 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • dual-income households
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • emotional well-being
  • parental involvement
  • social development
  • extracurricular activities
  • childcare solutions
  • time management
  • career advancement
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