In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

#today’s #world #families #parents #work #say #children #benefit #income #lack #support #parents’ #absence

Because of competition in today's world, a lot of parents prefer to go

for

Change preposition

show examples

work. Some people agree with the statement as they think that children will get more benefits from the extra money earned while others believe

kids

don't get parental support.

This

essay will discuss that

although

children get a feeling of loneliness, l believe it's necessary for them as they will get a good future. On the one hand,

kids

tend to feel lonely when

Correct your spelling

their

thier

Correct your spelling

their

fathers or mothers go

for

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show examples

work.

That is

to say, when

kids

stay home with helpers, they become quiet and bored.

This

does

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not only makes them feel uncomfortable but

also

inactive and some of them become sick.

For

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

research has proved that babies who stay home and don't get parental support for a long time, end up developing

illness

Fix the agreement mistake

illnesses

show examples

like anxiety or depression.

On the other hand

, providing better education is one of the

benefit

Change to a plural noun

benefits

show examples

that young adults may obtain from additional money.

In other words

, schools, institutions and universities are very expensive in every nation

hence

this

forces

Correct your spelling

caretakers

show examples

care takers

Correct your spelling

caretakers

show examples

to work

Change preposition

for more

show examples

income

Correct your spelling

in order

show examples

inorder

Correct your spelling

in order

show examples

for their

kids

to study

from

Change preposition

show examples

conducive places.

Therefore

, it will enable

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young adults to get a good future and good grades.

For instance

, very many people in

uganda

Change the capitalization

Uganda

show examples

give testimonies of having got better future

as a result

of their caretakers working more hours to earn more cash and

this

is why l support

this

statement. In conclusion, even though a child gets a feeling of loneliness when his/her family members go to their workplace, ln my opinion l believe that it is beneficial as they get a better life.

Submitted by jmeeme5 on Sun Dec 04 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

dual-income households
financial stability
work-life balance
emotional well-being
parental involvement
social development
extracurricular activities
childcare solutions
time management
career advancement

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In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills, Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more local shops are closing down because so many people now shop online. What problems might this cause? What is the best way to deal with this problem?

Private motor vehicle has greatly improved individual freedom of movement. Moreover, the automobile has become a status symbol. Yet the use of private motor vehicles has contributed to some of today’s most serious problems. How can the use of private motor vehicles be reduced?

Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the factors in modern society that cause this stress, and how can we reduce it?