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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that money for education should mainly be spent on better computers while others believe it would be better spent on teachers. Discuss both the view and give your own opinion.

#people #money #education #computers #teachers
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Some are of the opinion that capital for schooling should primarily be allocated to improved computers because they support lessons to be effective and efficient.
However
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, others are convinced that funds could be employed to specifically instructors
due to
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 morale and motivation. From my perspective, it essentially should be used for lecturers who are building blocks of
education
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, technological devices are essential to sustain learning comprehensively, and they are available in many educational institutions whether obsolete or contemporary. Today,
students
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 learn crucial programs which are necessary for business life thanks to computer labs.
In addition
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, people studying in school are inclined to bored quickly,
therefore
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 teachers utilize desktops and laptops frequently to provide interactive and enjoyable teaching. To illustrate, some institutions have continued their
education
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 with the hybrid system
due to
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 the spread of
covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
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.
Students
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 who could not come to class because they were sick maintained their learning process through
this
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 system, connecting to Zoom.
On the other hand
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, there must be a teacher in order
to
Change preposition
for
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education
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 to take place. There is a need
to
Change preposition
for to
show examples
 people
teaching
Wrong verb form
teach
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 no matter how technology advances because thorough learning is not possible
when
Rephrase
apply
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without them. Their attitude and mood towards
to
Change preposition
apply
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work affect
students
Use synonyms
 positively or negatively. Instructors who take their provision of
labor
Change the spelling
labour
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 are generally satisfied, and
this
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 happiness affects
students
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 in terms of encouraging them to learn. To give an example, in Turkey, the majority of teachers prefer to move abroad and work there since they are worried about inadequate salaries. In my opinion, the most important issue for quality
education
Use synonyms
 is the satisfaction of teachers. In conclusion, it is believed by some that schools should primarily
consume
Verb problem
spend
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 money on enhanced computers because they help classes become better
whereas
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 it is thought by others that spending on lecturers is better because of their impact on
students
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. In my view, lecturers are fundamental to
Use synonyms
education
Add an article
the education
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 system, and the capital of institutions should be contributed to them.
Submitted by sezinsarica on

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coherence cohesion
Provide clearer explanations and examples to support your points.
task response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses all aspects of the prompt.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • interactive learning
  • tailored education
  • adaptive learning programs
  • distance learning
  • qualified teachers
  • immediate feedback
  • teaching methods
  • learning styles
  • social skills
  • balanced investment
  • modernize education
  • educational needs
  • emotional intelligence
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