Nowadays some believe that students should be participating in more team games instead of doing exercise on their own. In my opinion I agree to this statement, because team games help students to improve their collaboration skills and teach them that they do not only have to rely on themselves.

#believe #students #team #games #exercise #collaboration #skills

Nowadays some believe that

students

should be participating in more

team

games

instead

of doing exercise on their own. In my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

I agree

Change preposition

with

show examples

this

statement

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because

team

games

help

students

to improve their collaboration skills and teach them that they do not only have to rely on themselves.

Students

are often fixated on themselves and do not want to collaborate with others, because they think it would diminish their own success. The reason for

that is

, that teachers often tell their

students

that if they want to come

further

in life they have to rely on themselves only.

This

leads to wrong

believe

Replace the word

belief

show examples

systems and

offspring’s

Change the noun form

offspring

show examples

will feel weak if they collaborate or ask for help.

In other

words

Add a comma

,words

show examples

if a student has to

faces

Change the verb

face

show examples

difficulties

for instance

in a subject like maths they would rather work it out on their own than

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

ask for help.

This

results

Change preposition

show examples

an unhealthy coping mechanism in

this

field

Consequently

Add a comma

,Consequently

show examples

Team

sports

such

as volleyball and tennis are the best way to teach youngsters that

Remove the article

apply

show examples

working on achieving something together will feel way better than achieving it alone. These

Team

games

instruct

students

better than anyone how to work and rely on others without feeling

week

Correct your spelling

weak

show examples

or less powerful.

Change the preposition

show examples

the

contrary

Add a comma

,contrary

show examples

it will make them stronger and evolve important personal characteristics. No other sport

such

as running or swimming could teach those life lessons:

Therefore

schools should implement more

team

games

addition

Add a comma

,addition

show examples

I by myself experienced that I massively improved as a person when I started to participate in

Team

games

.I compared it to a time when I was horseback riding and it

did

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

never gave

much

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

such

a great output as teaming up with others In

conclusion

Add a comma

,conclusion

show examples

I believe that schools should implement more

team

games

as they are beneficial in various ways and will teach

students

many lessons which are very useful for their life.

Submitted by luisapressl01 on Mon Dec 05 2022

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

321 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays some believe that students should be participating in more team games instead of doing exercise on their own. In my opinion I agree to this statement, because team games help students to improve their collaboration skills and teach them that they do not only have to rely on themselves.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are most successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.