IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays some believe that students should be participating in more team games instead of doing exercise on their own. In my opinion I agree to this statement, because team games help students to improve their collaboration skills and teach them that they do not only have to rely on themselves.

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Nowadays some believe that
students
Use synonyms
 should be participating in more
team
Use synonyms
games
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instead
Linking Words
 of doing exercise on their own. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 I agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 statement
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because
team
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 help
students
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 to improve their collaboration skills and teach them that they do not only have to rely on themselves.
Students
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 are often fixated on themselves and do not want to collaborate with others, because they think it would diminish their own success. The reason for
that is
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, that teachers often tell their
students
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 that if they want to come
further
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 in life they have to rely on themselves only.
This
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 leads to wrong
believe
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belief
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 systems and
offspring’s
Change the noun form
offspring
offspring
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 will feel weak if they collaborate or ask for help.
In other
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words
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,words
show examples
 if a student has to
faces
Change the verb
face
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 difficulties
for instance
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 in a subject like maths they would rather work it out on their own than
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
ask for help.
This
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 results
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 an unhealthy coping mechanism in
this
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 field
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Consequently
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,Consequently
show examples
Team
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 sports
such
Linking Words
 as volleyball and tennis are the best way to teach youngsters that
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
working on achieving something together will feel way better than achieving it alone. These
Team
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games
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 instruct
students
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 better than anyone how to work and rely on others without feeling
week
Correct your spelling
weak
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 or less powerful.
In
Change the preposition
On
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 the
contrary
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,contrary
show examples
 it will make them stronger and evolve important personal characteristics. No other sport
such
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 as running or swimming could teach those life lessons:
Therefore
Linking Words
 schools should implement more
team
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games
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.
In
Linking Words
addition
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,addition
show examples
 I by myself experienced that I massively improved as a person when I started to participate in
Team
Use synonyms
games
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 .I compared it to a time when I was horseback riding and it
did
Unnecessary verb
apply
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never gave
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
such
Linking Words
 a great output as teaming up with others In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 I believe that schools should implement more
team
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games
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 as they are beneficial in various ways and will teach
students
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 many lessons which are very useful for their life.

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