IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

4. The environment problems facing today’s world are so great that there is little ordinary people can do to improve the situations. Government and large companies should be responsible for reducing the amount of damage being done to the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#environment #today’s #world #people #situations #government #companies #amount #damage
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that, in the recent modern world,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental issues have become too big for ordinary citizens to handle them. Those
people
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 think that only
government
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 and big corporations have the
power
Use synonyms
 to improve the current situation and there is little each of us can do. I understand where
this
Linking Words
 thought came from,
however
Linking Words
, I cannot agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion a hundred
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, because I strongly believe if
individual
Add an article
an individual
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citizen
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citizens
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 could not change
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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or
her
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 mindset,
this
Linking Words
 serious problem would not be fundamentally improved in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 long run.
First
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 of all, I agree that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 and world-class
companies
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 should lead projects to significantly improve the situation.
For example
Linking Words
, they are the only
power
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 that can raise
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the tax
a tax
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tax
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taxes
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 to penalize institutions
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 do not cope with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental issues. Or, they are the leading
power
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 to change global infrastructure to,
for instance
Linking Words
, use only eco-friendly tools. Take it
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 example, Starbucks recently started to implement paper straws globally and American Express launched eco-friendly plastic cards.
However
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, the
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
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 changes can be only successful when each individual citizen can find the efforts important and beneficial for our life and future. In most
of
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apply
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democratic
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the democratic
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 countries, those
government
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 leaders are chosen by votes by lay
people
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. Without
supports
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support
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 from citizens, those leaders cannot keep their
power
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 to change the world.
Also
Linking Words
, private
companies
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' decisions are heavily based on their customers' needs and preferences. If we believed that those
companies
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' environmental efforts were important and with merits, the
companies
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' stock prices would increase and they would obtain financial
power
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 to continue their activities. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 I believe
government
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 and corporations need to have
leaderships
Replace the word
leaders
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 to
Correct your spelling
tackle
tickle
tuckle
Correct your spelling
tackle
these serious
Change the determiner
this serious issus
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issus
Correct your spelling
issues
issue
, at the end of the day, it is each
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add an article
a country
the country
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country
Change noun form
country's
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citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
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 who should support their efforts to face the danger. Without
those
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
show examples
 from ordinary
people
Use synonyms
, I think nobody can be successful in saving the earth from these serious challenges.
Submitted by michima2011 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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