IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Prevention is better than cure. Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measure. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#prevention #cure #country’s #health #budget #proportion #treatment #education #measure
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There is a fact that
prevention
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 is more beneficial than cure. The government
budget
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 should be allocated a high proportion to
health
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education
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 and
prevention
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 measures rather than
treatment
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. I agree with
this
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 view. If governments follow the
prevention
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 strategy, they can control the number of patients in hospitals.
This
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 strategy in turn leads to saving money from spending to cure
people
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.
For example
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, by teaching sanitation to children and adults during the pandemic period of Coronavirus and
then
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 vaccination, countries controlled the number of patients and prevent the accelerating death rate of
people
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.
Also
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, healthy
people
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 are more productive than unhealthy ones, as they can bring value and income for themselves and the government too.
Therefore
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, focusing on
prevention
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 is more economically beneficial than curing sick
people
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. In spite of the benefits of
this
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 strategy, depending on the government and its
budget
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, the process of spending
budget
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 on
health
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education
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 than
treatment
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 would be different. Some governments are not capable enough for
this
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 programme and should spend equally the
budget
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 between these two sectors,
education
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 and
treatment
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. Since these countries are poor and most of their population are suffering from some disease, nourishment, poor sanitation and different viruses, they should spend more to cure
people
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. If they can pass
such
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 a crisis, the best suggestion for them is to spend more on
health
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education
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 and
prevention
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 programmes. In conclusion, if governments spend more on training about
health
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 and increase
health
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 awareness, they will become successful in preventing
people
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 from diseases. Whereas they should spend more on the
treatment
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 of their sick
people
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.
Submitted by wenglish995 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive measures
  • health education
  • long-term savings
  • chronic illnesses
  • regular health screenings
  • vaccinations
  • early detection
  • empower individuals
  • sustainable healthcare
  • strain on medical services
  • robust healthcare systems
  • life expectancy
  • healthcare budget
  • public health campaigns
  • disease prevention
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